(Closed) No gifts, money only

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@This Time Round: way to single out a bee and call my suggestion inappropriate, rude, and tacky. You could’ve just suggested that writing something in the invite is rude,inappropriate and tacky. The OP asked what to write and I just gave her a suggestion. 

Post # 18
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just because some of you see it as tacky doesn’t mean that everyone else does, etiquette is dependent on culture and many other factors, here in the UK it is perfectly acceptable to put on the invite that you would prefer money/vouchers over physical gifts, in fact I haven’t received an invitation in a long time that didn’t state otherwise.

We’re in the 21st Century now, and sometimes etiquette isn’t always practical, if people want to follow it down to the last letter then that’s up to them, I personally prefer to judge what is appropriate with the people I know myself, rather than going by some of the very outdated etiquette rules, just my opnion though, I know thousands of the bees on here wouldn’t agree

OP – You know your friends and family better than we do, if they are the type of people that like to be told exactly what you prefer then go for it, if you know that a few of them would prefer to give gifts you could always set up a small registry for a UK company that they can purchase from and arrange for it to be delivered once you move. 

Good Luck with the move 🙂

Post # 19
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

As far as traditional western world etiquette goes, just follow our resident bee expert above. 

I also am a huge fan of saying sod it and going with what your culture and social circle dictates. I’m from an area where you will be brow beat for not having a registry regardless of what you’d prefer. Fiance is from an area where people ONLY give china or cash. You just have to go with the flow.You know what is best for your culture/social circle at the end of the day. : ) Let us know what you end up deciding! It can help other planning bees down the line 


Post # 20
6116 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not mentioning gifts is correct.  It is presumptous to say anything at all about gifts (no gifts, money gifts, etc) on your wedding invitation as wedding gifts are not mandatory, so it assumes you were going to get something in the first place.

Also do not create a registry.  usually guests will ask where you are registered (or ask a family member) and you can say we did not register but we are saving for XYZ.  That is OK to say if you are asked directly.

Most people will not FLY with a wrapped gift.  For one I think TSA makes you unwrap the gift, and who wants to carry this awkward gift with all their luggage.  I think most poeple will use common sense and get cash if you opt for a gift.

Post # 22
1692 posts
Bumble bee

I was not suggesting that your guests ship anything — other than information — to Britain. When one shops online, the seller does the shipping. That was why I recommended choosing your housewares at classic department stores that are already in Britain. Your guests would simply instruct the shop –located in Britain — to ship their purchase directly to your British address. The goods themselves never leave the Isles.

Post # 23
4953 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

A friend of mine was in a similar situation. It went straight onto the shower invites. In her case (and in yours), I don’t think it’s rude. No one at her shower complained. Since your friends and family know the situation, I bet they’ll understand. 

Post # 26
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@This Time Round:  Tacky is one overrated word, dear. Some of us do not need a 1900 Womens Home Journal to dictate how to behave ;p 

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