No Gifts on a Birthday Party Invitation

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Do you think it is rude to put "no gifts please" on a young child's birthday invitation?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    20 %
    No : (65 votes)
    80 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    4235 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    I don’t think it’s rude at all…but like PP have stated it would be hard to enforce. I may be alone on this, but why not do something like “In lieu of gifts please make a donation to [insert charity here]”

    Post # 17
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    onyx81 :  This will not go well.. It’s rude to bring up gifts regardless , I think its just as rude as receiving an invite that says cash gifts or registry information…. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    2149 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

     MrsAKSkier :  its not the parents birthday ffs

    a childs birthday then the CHILD gets a gift and its tacky as hell to demand a certain gift or to give away a gift that wasnt for you or to expect that people will bring you an adult gift (how inappropriate) for a childs birthday… I cant believe that has to actually be said undecided

    Post # 19
    Member
    425 posts
    Helper bee

    LGenz :  You can always show up with something edible for the kid and his/her friends. My family comes from a culture where we don’t show up empty-handed, and we usually bring something edible for the kids in the family (in addition to bringing something for the adults). Just because you’re not bringing a gift per se, doesn’t mean you need to show up empty-handed.

    btob17 :  Most children do eat sweets, and I think they would be appreciated at a birthday party, when the vast majority of kids are allowed sweets, even if they are don’t eat them otherwise. It’s unfortunate that your family doesn’t listen to the fact that your son doesn’t eat sweets, but they’re probably well-intentioned and might assume that you’re one of those parents who tries to keep all sweets from their child instead of your child just not liking sweets. I know some people like sweets less than others, but it’s extraordinarily rare for someone to choose never to eat sweets.

    As far as being gifted money, the thing that I would suggest you do is save it and then present it to your son when he is older and can be responsible with it. All the birthday money really adds up over the years, and I was happy that my family saved it for me. I used it to buy some textbooks during my first year of college.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1172 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    btob17 :  How ironic that you’re complaining about how rude it is to “demand” a type of gift when you yourself showed an ungrateful attitude toward the types of gifts your son gets and seem to demand that people get your son a certain type of gift.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1592 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Sorry if this has been said (didn’t read through all the comments), but what if you made the gifts for a cause? Like “in lieu of a gift, bring a pet toy for donation to [local animal shelter]!” or something of that nature.

    Post # 23
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    onyx81 :  I think it’s pretty pointless to be honest… I mean it’s a kids birthday people always bring gifts. He is not an adult. 

    If you really feel like he is spoiled or already has tons of toys why don’t you accept the gifts he gets and then donate a bunch of his older gifts to kids in need? I am sure you have plenty of toys in perfect conditions that can go to charity. 

    I am saying the older toys only because I think it would be offensive to donate the brand new ones people spent money on and just picked out.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    If you do write “no gifts” or something similar, could you have an out-of-view place to stash any gifts that do show up? If the gifts are out of sight and definitely not opened during the party, those that followed your directions won’t have to feel bad.

    I worked for many years in a toy shop and think it’s wonderful and definitely worth the etiquette puzzle to instill these values in your son. 🙂

    Post # 26
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    onyx81 :  Hm is it generally a thing in your social/school circle to ask what gifts each child wants?

    I always ask when I got to my friend’s kids birthdays just because a. I am not a mom yet and a few years younger than our mutual friends with kids so I don’t always know the best stuff to get and b. because i know kids have a million toys so i rather get something useful/educational/they don’t already have.

    For example this past weekend was our flower girl’s first birthday and I just asked straight out what she wanted and the mom said a soccer ball since she has hundreds of toys but nothing to start playing sports.

    So maybe if some parents ask you, you can point them in the right direction?

    Post # 28
    Member
    1592 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    onyx81 :  Hmm that’s weird, I see it a lot where I live. Keep in mind the internet will give you a sampling of people who support/don’t support any subject. I don’t blame you for wanting to limit gifts your son is getting. I plan to be the same way!

    Post # 30
    Member
    3010 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    btob17 :  I’m not sure why you’re replying to me? About the bottle of wine? That was for someone who felt badly about showing up empty handed, and the parents are the ones hosting the party…anyway, I never said anything about demanding a certain type of gift. Unless you count no gifts as “demanding a certain kind?” And giving gifts away is tacky? I disagree. If I were expected to keep every single thing ever given to me, my husband or my son my house would be over run with toys and other stuff we don’t need, use, or want. Plus it can help out those less fortunate. If you’re only getting cash and candy at your kid’s birthday (which I find tacky, but to each their own) it’s easy to say you must keep it, after all (but what to you do with the candy? Just keep it forever?)

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