(Closed) No Gifts Preferred

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm… it’s considered rude to mention anything about gifts on the invite.  Even if it’s to say no gifts because it implies that you expected gifts.

I think what I would do is have a small registry.  I’m sure there are things you could upgrade – towels, sheets, etc.  Even if you say no gifts, people will still probably get you something and it’s better to get something you want.

You could also not register at all and tell people when they ask that you aren’t registered but are saving up for a honeymoon/house/new furniture/etc.  This is the polite way to say you prefer cash.

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@laurenlauren:  We really don’t want any presents, just people to come and celebrate with us.  We’ve merged two homes into one little quirky cottage and had to give so much stuff away to charity, we have two of everything we need and no wall space for anything else!  On our invites we’ve put ‘please, we request no presents just your presence!’.  Our wedding isn’t for another month, and so I don’t know how it’ll work out, but anyone that’s enquired we’ve just explained and they seem to have accepted it.

Post # 5
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Your scenarios:

1. You don’t want to add financial burden – Well, don’t worry about that. You aren’t intimately aware of their financial situation and if they can afford to give you something they will and if they can’t they’ll just send a card.

2. Some of your guests are well off – So, don’t worry about saying anything about gifts. If they’re financially well off and will most likely give you a gift, they’ll give a gift.

3. Tiny apartment – If it’s a space issue, just don’t register. Don’t say anything. Don’t include anything in invites. People figure it out really fast and if they’re traveling they’ll MOST likely just cut you a check anyways, even if you did register. 

We had everything we needed but registered for a small handful of items to satisfy those who wanted to physically purchase something. But 95% of our guests (and most people had to travel to attend) wrote us a check. You might be thinking about how it would be easier for you to not have to haul around gifts but you need to remember that they’ll be thinking how it would be easier for THEM to not haul around your gifts. 

Don’t worry, don’t register, and mum’s the word.

Post # 7
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You can always list your registry as a wishing well wedding. I heard of this from a woman my husband works with. It mostly means you offer a “well” instead of a card box and its meant for well wishes and money (if they so choose). You can also do this instead of a registry at all. Its a nicer way of saying no gifts.

Post # 9
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just send an insert with the invitation saying that you do not want gifts, and that guests who would like to do something may make a donation to “xya charity”

Post # 10
Member
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We asked for donations to a charity instead of gifts, and listed it on our website.  All of our guests followed our wishes except for a couple of our closest relatives, who gave us money.

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My friend put on her wedding website that in lieu of gifts, she asks you to make a donation to the couples fave charities (gave 3 options) or to the charity of your choice. it got the point across that she didn’t want or expect gifts, but also there was really no pressure to give to the charity either (since it wasn’t set up like a honeyfund or anything where you’d actgually know if people did or did not make the donation).

Post # 12
Member
46370 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is impolite to add anything to an invitation that implies in any way that one would be expecting gifts, even if what you want to say is “no gifts”.

If you don’t want gifts, don’t register for anything. You will likely still receive monetary gifts.

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