(Closed) No Gifts + Thank You Cards = What To Write? Help!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would just say someything like ‘Thank you for sharing our special day with us’.

I think that’s fine.

Post # 4
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would consider thanking them for (choose as appropriate): 

–taking the time out to be there

–traveling to be there

–being part of your lives

–their general support of your relationship

It can be short and sweet.

Post # 5
7211 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BetterSherm:  I think they were “generic” when it came to being lame-ass guests, so you are more than ok to thank them with a generic “thank you for coming” message. 

P.S. They suck. I’m sure your party was awesome and they are stick in the muds. 😛 Do something fun for yourself after you write to them. A string of sucky thank yous you don’t want to write won’t be fun.

Post # 7
2212 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ItWasntMe:  +1

I also was under the impression that it wasn’t necessary to thank a wedding guest who hadn’t given a gift.

Post # 9
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I actually would not send thank you notes to people who did not give a gift. I was brought up with the idea that you only need to send a thank you note for those who bring a gift (for any occasion of course). I don’t have any wording suggestions because I think maybe you should rethink sending them. 

Post # 10
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I wouldn’t send anything to them actually. 

Post # 11
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Another vote for not sending a thank you.

  1. It’s correct etiquette not to do so. 
  2. The reception is the “thank you” for attending the ceremony.
  3. What oracle said. 


Post # 12
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@BetterSherm:  You should not thank them for attending.  It is not polite, and can be seen as fishing for gifts. 

You’ve already thanked them at least twice.  Once via your hospitality, and the second time when visiting and speaking with each guest.

To continue to thank them for coming (when they should be thanking you for your hospitality), can be easily interpreted as not so subtly asking for your gift.

Post # 13
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The reception is the thank you for attending the ceremony. Some people actually think it’s “against etiquette” to send thank you notes to people who didn’t give gifts because it can come across as fishing for gifts with those people. (Not saying you’re doing that!) I wouldn’t send a thank you.

Post # 14
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

+1 to all of those who say the reception is the thank you for attending and not bringing a gift.

Post # 15
2300 posts
Buzzing bee

Pfft. Send no thank you notes. Save yourself some money!

While getting a gift isnt the main goal, their attitude alone was uncalled for.


Forget them!

Post # 16
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BetterSherm:  I’m with the others with not sending a note, I always thought the reception was the thank you for coming so they’ve been thanked!

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