(Closed) No Gifts + Thank You Cards = What To Write? Help!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MexiPino:  +1


OP: yeah, you *could* send something generic. Or you could send nothing, which you are BEYOND justified in doing.


…or you could take this oppertunity in front of you to be passive-aggressive, which is more my style.  How about “Thank you SO MUCH for coming to our wedding!  Watching you polish off 3/4 pan of lasagna single-handedly was the highlight of my night! SO glad you enjoyed. God bless!”

Post # 33
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@BetterSherm:  You don’t write thank you cards to people who just attended the wedding.  That would be like thanking them for coming to dinner at your house.  You only need write thank you notes for people who gave you a gift.  In fact, writing a thankj you to someone who hasn’t given you a gift could be interpreted as a prompt for one.

Post # 35
13837 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@BetterSherm:  You’ve got to be kidding me!  They’re demanding thank you notes via Facebook?  YEESH! 

We did not send thank you cards to people who didn’t even get us a card.  If they have the nerve to demand a thank you card… it’ll be a carefully written response back, that Darling Husband will probably need to proofread to get rid of the snark.  

Post # 36
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t send them a Thank You note.  There’s no gift.  If you had a regular party and they brought… let’s say .. beer or taco dip … do you send a thank you note…. no. 


it’s like that.  They just wanted to be there for your day… they didn’t need to be thanked for that. 

Post # 37
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@BetterSherm:  woops .. darnit my big pet peeve … I mised your update.

Say sorry… on FB or IM … they DID get lost in the mail and we’re out of them 😀  thanks so much for coming to share in our joy and have fun for a night with the fam!! 

and cc everyone

Post # 38
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@BetterSherm:  WOW these people are being incredibly rude. Normally no thank you cards are necessary if they didn’t give you a gift. If they wrote you a nice card or something then maybe send a “thank you for being there with us” card.

But asking for thank you’s under any circumstance is very strange and rude…not to mention you got married pretty recently, normally you have about 1-3 months to complete thank you cards.

So yea, don’t send anything. Ignore their FB messages, they’re just being jerks.

Post # 39
6117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would not send one.  You already thanked them for coming by having the reception.  Receptions are for receiving the guests!

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