(Closed) No girl friends…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Bee hugs!  I’m sure when you start grad. school, you’ll meet some new people.  My FH is also pretty shy, but he met a lot of new people at grad school.  He went out-of-state to attend, so he didn’t know anyone either, but you guys will be spending so much time together, I’m sure you’ll make friends quickly!  And, some of the males might even have SOs that you can meet and become friends with!

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with BridetoBee, a lot of grad students are very open so I’m sure you will be meeting a lot of new faces.  In the mean time, spend as much time with your Fiance until then cuz once school starts, you won’t have much time for him anymore!

Post # 5
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Grad school also offers social networking events – bar nights, ice cream social, etc. – take advantage of these early on!  EVERYone there will be feeling new; anticipation of what is to come and many will be from out of town wanting to make new friends.  Good luck!  Just get up the courage to smile and some of the socials will be held outside the school – bring your Fiance and help him help you as well! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

You also might think about joining a gym! Usually the same people go to the different classes everyday. When I moved back to Dallas for my job I knew NO ONE:( Fortunately my co-workers were all about my age. I got introduced to someone from my home town to a girl about my age and we hit it off. Don’t be embarressed to network through your Fiance. His friends probably have wives and girlfriends your age. I have met alot of my friends because their husbands are friends with my Fiance. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

You know, I think this is totally common.  Once you’re out of school and working, it can be really hard to find friends your own age.  I agree with the others that grad school will be a great opportunity for you to meet some new friends.  You’ll be in classes with people with similar interests and you can strike up a conversation about school.  You might be able to start up a study group or go with a group to a Happy Hour or something.  I know it’s hard to take the first step, but even something small, like asking your classmate if they’ve bought the books yet, or how their summer was, will get you started. ๐Ÿ™‚  Good luck.  You can do it!

Post # 8
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Try this website to find a group that you would fit into you’re life – maybe a book club, or wine tasting, or whatever ๐Ÿ™‚

http://www.meetup.com/

Post # 9
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hey! We both live in PA, are getting married next year, and are going to grad school!! I just sent you a message! We should go to a bridal show or something!

Post # 10
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with the other ladies and especially @jessie516, this is TOTALLY common. I know that it is harder for me now…I am 22 and working and just moved 1.5 hours from my alma mater and that enough is a challenge. Meet anyone you can…neighbors if possible ๐Ÿ™‚ But also, take full advantage of grad school, study groups, etc and do it right away while everyone else is feeling the same as you (even if they don’t seem to show it). Also, does your FH have any married/engaged/in serious relationship friends? What about those women?

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

Depending on what grad school program you are going into you might find yourself with a lot of friends on your hands. Many grad programs are smaller and you can’t help but spend a lot of time with the people in them. Just make it a point to show up to some of the events and parties they are bound to have and you will easily meet people.

Post # 12
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Our home and the two acres it sits on

I’ve found it to be kind of like picking up men (ha) but much more stressful.  I used to feel like you did – like I didn’t even know where to begin.  Then I realized that potential girlfriends were everywhere!  My vet, the friend of a friend, a neighbor, a coworker, even a woman who posted on Craigslist looking for girlfriends for the same reason!  My grandmother used to say that we should never turn down an invitation – to anything, for anything.  If people invite you, they think you’ll enjoy it and you should give it a chance.  So I did.

But it’s more than that.  It’s also about extending invitations to women you don’t know well – because how will you get to know them unless you try?  So if you meet a woman that you think might be a great friend, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “You know, I think we’d have a great time chatting over coffee sometime.  Interested?”  (Yup, just like asking a man out on a date – uncomfortable!)  And then trade numbers, and follow through.  It feels very strange, and I’m not great at it.  In fact, because I had such a good group of girlfriends (ok, two, but whateva) I hadn’t made any new ones in a while, so I decided I would make at least one good girlfriend this year — so I’ll have to hang out with like five of them to find a great match.

And I bet you know women that might be good girlfriends, but making the leap into asking is so hard.  The wife or girlfriend of a male friend, perhaps?  You hang out as a couple, but maybe you can call the woman up and ask if she wants to join you for a run or for a cooking class or something?

You can do it!  If you need to practice, try becoming good friends with someone online.  It keeps your skills fresh!

Post # 13
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My hobby is swing dancing, and it’s a wonderful way to meet people. My college friends have all moved away, and I have made many new friends through this activity. If you live in Pittsburgh, well, there is a huge scene there with lots of young people. It’s a good form of exercise too. You get to know people in the classes and then interact more at dances. It takes a little more effort to get to know the girls, as you don’t interact with them as much while dancing, but it’s definitely a low-cost, low-commitment way to be exposed to new faces.

Post # 14
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel

Hive **hugs!**.  I’m also quite shy and find it difficult to just go up to someone and start talking (Where would I even begin?).  Grad school was definitely a great environment to make new friends – everyone is in the same situation and may be from all different locations and also looking for new friends!  I also found it easier to meet new people when we share a common interest – for example, I took a baking class and met some great new people.

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

After grad school I moved away for my job and the way I met friends was a) going to the happy hour for my college and b) joining the local community theater.  You might see if there is a hobby you like that you can join.  I.e. co-ed softball.  Maybe the Fiance can join with you.

I also agree with those above.  Grad school will open some doors for you.  It did for me because my classes were small (about 20-30 people) and we often had to do group research projects.

Post # 16
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I know how you feel!  I used to have not too many girl friends too and I am very shy about approaching people.  I am a quiet person until you get to know me and find it very hard to start talking to random people.  Im sure you will meet people at grad school, do they have an clubs or something you can join (sorry I didnt go to grad school so Im not sure how many activities or clubs they would have)  Does your Fiance have any guy friends that have GF’s or FI’s?  Maybe you can do a couples night and get to know the girls and then set up something after where you can hang out with just the girls.

Have you checked out a rec center?  You can join some hobby type classes or fitness classes to meet people as well.

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