No Groom’s parents on invite??

posted 7 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Were groom's parents listed on invite?
    Yes : (32 votes)
    53 %
    No : (28 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Who is paying for the wedding?

    Usually whoever is paying is listed on the invite.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We’ve decided not to include either set of parents. Who is paying for/contributing to the wedding? If both sets are they both need to be on there. If only your parents are it’s not traditional for the grooms parents to be on the invite. If you’re paying for the wedding yourselves neither set would traditionally be listed.

    Post # 5
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

    Our invites were a little less formal, so I put “Together With Their Parents.” I know you’re asking for who didn’t include the groom’s parents, but I think typically the rule is to include only the names of whoever is hosting the wedding, as in, paying for it. If your FI’s parents are helping with the financials of the wedding, then it’s probably a good idea to include their names… otherwise they could be understandably disappointed/offended.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’ve also seen traditional invites like the following:

    Mr. & Mrs. bride’s parents request the honour

    of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

    name name name

    to

    name name name

    son of Mr & Mrs. groom’s parents

    Saturday, July 14, 2012 etc etc.

     

    you may want to go this route because it’s a small quick change that will avoid any potential IL drama

    Post # 7
    Member
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Since our families are both helping with the wedding (albeit not financially…) we are listing our own names, and adding the line “Together with their families” to recognize both families’ contributions of time and effort.  Also, my parents are both divorced and remarried so there would be so many names on the invitations it would be outrageous.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2863 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    If his parent’s are helping pay for the wedding they need to be on there. If not then you don’t have to include them. It is a nice gesture to include them regardless, but you are within etiquette to only include the paying set of parents. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    13251 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We’re including FI’s parents because it’s important to him.  Even though my parents are paying for the vast majority (80%), and we’re contributing the rest, Fiance really wanted his parents names included because they are also requesting the “honor your presence” and not only my parents.  Since it didn’t matter to my parents either, it wasn’t worth an argument.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Our invite only lists my parents, which I just went with because it seemed traditional. It didn’t have anything to do with who was paying.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I did. And it was almost identical to yours with just one additional line:

    Mr. and Mrs. Bride’sParents request the honor of your presence

    at the marriage of their daughter

    Bride Middle

    to

    Groom Middle Last

    son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’sParents

    etc.

    I know you asked for how didn’t include, but I thought it might help to know that you can (hopefully) add it in pretty easily if need be. 🙂

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2261 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We had the same issue. My family was so concerned they made us drop their names of the invite and just have the invitation coming from us alone. No one questioned it and it made the invitation more personal. :/ 

    But traditionally… yes, whoever pays is on the invite…. if your fiance’s family will have issues with that it’s really kind of silly of them. They are not hosting. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee

    We are the ones hosting, so we have only our names on the invite.  It would have been complicated in our case to do it any other way.  My parents never married, but my mother is now recently married to someone else.  At my fiance’s first wedding, his mother got told that “The groom’s family doesn’t matter, so shut up.”, by the mother of his ex, so I wouldn’t have wanted to leave her off if I had my parents on.  

    I agree that what Gemstone did is a nice way to put their names on the invite without implying they are hosting.

    Post # 15
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

    If they aren’t helping pay for anything, then they -traditionally- cannot be upset that their names are not on the invite. But if you think your FI’s mom will be very offended and potentially stir up drama over it (which you probably won’t want!) then maybe you can avoid it and appease her by going the same route Gemstone did and write “son of _______” underneath your FI’s name. That way it acknowledges his parents without actually giving them host/ess credit.

    Post # 16
    Hostess
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @Jinxstar: Thanks!

    And, for the record, my in-laws did contribute to the wedding by purchasing all of our flowers. So, etiquette-wise, they were contributing. We also just wanted them on there to include them.

    Not saying you (or anyone) have to include them, I just thought I should mention that they did contribute financially. 🙂

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