No Having a Flower Girl / Ring Bearer

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We didn’t. We had a million kids to pick from and I did not want kids in the wedding. It’s not unheard of. It’s a 50/50 shot that weddings have them anymore. 

Post # 4
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I had a flower girl but no ring bearer. I don’t think it’s weird not to have them. In fact, I’d think it’d be far weirder to put small children you don’t really have a relationship with in those roles just to check a box. 

Post # 5
Member
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I had neither. The location didn’t want flowers on the floor and I didn’t want to spend money on things to step on. I had the rings in my handbag and we put them on the table in front of us during the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee

Nope. Neither flower girl nor ring bearer. We didn’t want either. So little is really “necessary”. Most is just tradition and traditions change over time.

Post # 7
Member
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Honestly, it’s pretty old school these days and lots of people choose not to have them. I think you should only do so if you know children who you really want to participate in the wedding. We had a “ring bearer” who my best friend’s 9-month old son. She carried him down the aisle with a ring box. We did it only because we wanted him in the wedding, not because we wanted or needed a ring bearer.

Post # 8
Member
2975 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

View original reply
krissymichelle070 :  Not having them and when I think about it, I’m pretty sure that the vast majority of weddings I’ve been to did not have them. Maybe it’s more of an expected norm in certain regions or cultural traditions?  It’s not one in my circles.

Post # 9
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We didn’t and I have 3 nieces & 2 nephews at the right age. No kids whatsoever were invited. I’ve seen flower girls so many times be unpredictable at weddings. Aged 3, I was one of them. I ran up to the alter at my aunt’s wedding  😅🤦‍♀️

Post # 10
Member
9199 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
krissymichelle070 :  I’ve been to more weddings without them than with.

Post # 11
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
krissymichelle070 :  We’re choosing to not having either a flower girl or ring bearer at the wedding as we didn’t feel the need to. Also, it’s one less thing we need to focus our energy and time on. Our focus is on having a simple ceremony and reception where we can spend more time celebrating with our guests and interacting with them.

2/3 weddings I attended didn’t have them this year so it doesn’t seem unheard of. 

Post # 12
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We did not have them. We also had a child free wedding. It was great!!

Post # 13
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

We won’t be having either despite having kids in the fam of the appropriate age. I wanted our dog but FH nixed the idea, lol! Logistically it was too hard to involve her due to travel and finding an additional handler to assist.

Post # 14
Member
5265 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I actually think most weddings don’t have flower girls or ring bearers. Non of the weddings I have been to recently have had them and fiancé and I won’t have either at ours.

Post # 15
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We aren’t having either. I’ve hardly been to any weddings that actually have them anymore.

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