(Closed) No heartbeat. I'm heartbroken.

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016

BiancaBee33:  I’m soooo sorry, but I will pray that you get good news on Monday! 

Post # 47
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

BiancaBee33:  Oh, I’m so sorry! Loss just sucks. And grief sucks. And IF sucks. It just all sucks. (I’m a ray of sunshine, aren’t I? LOL) I’ve been there–MC and Stillbirth. Grief sucks, sucks, sucks. And my only advice is to go through it. Numb/distract yourself when you need to and cry/feel the pain when you can. And keep doing this until you have gone through the worst or feel stuck. If you are stuck, see a therapist.

Also, know that at some point the pain will be bareable. I think of it like putting it in a box on a top shelf. Sometimes you take the box out (like on your MC date or due date) and bring on the pain. Sometimes the box falls off the shelf and just spills open at the weirdest times. But the pain in the box never fully goes away. The goal isn’t for the pain to disappear, it’s to get it in the box so you can live your life. 

1) To tag someone, hit the ‘reply’ button from someone’s post

2) UGH TV! TV is my solice and stress reliever. After my stillbirth, it saved me and was my tormenter. Seemed like every show was about the pregnancy, birth or death of a child, or a child be hurt, neglected or threatened. I just learned to turn it off mid-show and move on the the next one. 

3) Pill or D&C. Some people have good experiences (well as good as expelling your  child can be) using the pill, some horrible where it lasts for days and they still have to get a D&C. The fear with the D&C, is that it will leave scarring and cause implantation issues in the future. Some women are very sensitive and their uterus scars easily. But you don’t know if you are one of those women until it happens to you. 

So you have to decide which risk you can live with. The possibility of days of pain, bleeding  and still having a D&C(worst case). Or the chance the D&C will scar your uterus. Only you can decide that. But talk to your OB about the relative risks. 

PS–be kind to yourself. Grief is exhausting. You just don’t know how exhausting it is until you find yourself crying in the freezer aisle because you can’t make up your mind if you want chicken pot pie or Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. And be kind to your Darling Husband. You will both grieve differently. And he may not grieve much at all. The baby just isn’t as real to them since they aren’t carrying it and with it 24/7. Just tell him what you need (shut up and hold me). 

Post # 48
Member
10852 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

So terribly sorry for your loss.

Gentle cyberhugs coming your way.

Post # 49
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

Very sorry for your loss 

Post # 50
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Oh bee, have a hug! I am so sorry. We are here for you. 

Post # 51
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2006

Ohh I am so sorry to hear that Hun. Let’s hope and pray for a miracle. Similar thing happened to my gf and I’m currently 15 weeks preggo so I know how you are feeling Exactly. Wishing you the best and hugs and kisses..

Post # 52
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

So sorry to hear this, I had been wondering how you were doing. 

I have nothing to offer but sympathy and distant hugs. Please look after yourself and ask the people you love for support xx

Post # 53
Hostess
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

BiancaBee33:  I am so so sorry for your loss. i know nothing anyone can say can really take the pain, but my thought are with you.

Post # 54
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

🙁 🙁 Heartbreaking I’m so sorry to hear this. 

Post # 55
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m so sorry. I went through this a month ago at 8 weeks. It’s not fair.  Try and stay positive, time does help. I already feel so much better than I thought possible. *hugs*

Post # 56
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

BiancaBee33:  Oh honey, I am so, so sorry. Sending you massive hugs. Please feel free to join us on the TTC After MC thread if you think you need some support. There are wonderful ladies there who have experienced what you’re going through.

Post # 57
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Our Church

I am so sorry, Bee. Prayers, hugs, everything your way. <3

Post # 58
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is. I’ve heard that the medication to induce is very painful, I’ve had a D&C and it was quick and relatively painless. If it were me, I would go for the D&C. Again, I’m so sorry, I hope you feel better soon.

Post # 59
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh, I’m so incredibly sorry to see this. Be kind to yourself, and you, your husband, and your beautiful little one are in my prayers. I wish you healing and peace.

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