(Closed) No heartbeat. I'm heartbroken.

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 61
Member
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

BiancaBee33:  I am so, so sorry for this loss (which I know saying those words doesn’t help). It’s devastating and completely feels like someone just ripped out your heart. Please make sure you let yourself grieve and do whatever you feel you need to do to deal. I spent that week (I was on Spring Break when I MC’ed) in bed, watching Netflix, and crying on and off. It was what I needed to be able to begin to move on and start functioning like a person. If you need that, do it. Don’t try to force yourself to do anything when you’re just trying to survive the pain. I can’t give you advice on the D&C or medicine. I MC’ed naturally at 6.5 weeks, but the baby had stopped developing in week 5, so it was more like a crazy intense period. I would think about whether you can handle what will come with the medicine-induced MC. For me, seeing the bleeding (I found out on Monday afternoon that my hcg had plummeted and began bleeding early the next morning) and the cramping was just a slap in the face. I was thankful it was “natural”, but it was hard. I would do whichever you think will be best for your body and recovery.

ETA: Also, please know that if the grief continues (even though it does get better with time) that is totally normal. Darling Husband and I were lucky to get our rainbow baby quickly after my MC, and I am now 26 weeks with him. Even though we are so, so lucky to have him and he is healthy, a mother will never stop mourning the loss of a child, no matter how early it may have been lost. I still have moments of sadness wash over me when I think about that baby, so it’s all totally normal. Wishing you all the best.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  KatiePi.
Post # 62
Member
9818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

So sorry for your loss

Post # 63
Member
4161 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I hate reading those titles, my heart sinks each time – however I’m compelled to comment because I’ve recently been through a similar heartbreak. 

First off, I’m so so sorry.  Please take all the time you need to grieve in whatever way you seek fit.  For me, that meant a whole lot of crying, some screaming, being angry at myself and then eventually coming to the realization that it was not my fault, and I had a whole lot of love and support around my husband and I (including many wonderful ladies here.)

It’s been 5 months since I was told my 20 week old no longer had a heartbeat.  I should be holding the baby in my arms right now and ever since the due date, that’s what I’ve been thinking.  There is not a single day that goes by that I don’t think about it – the excitement, the planning, and then the moment the US tech told me she had to get a doctor because she couldn’t find the heartbeat, the fog I was in for a few days until I delivered the baby, staring at the hospital ceiling, waiting for the OB to finish with the difficult delivery down the hall so she could come and help me deliver ours, and then having to tell everyone the news. 

The tears have mostly cleared up and the heartache has lessened, but not disappeared and I don’t know if it ever will. 

I can promise you it will get better…it is not easy, not at all, but the pain will get better.  I’m so sorry.  Big hugs.  Please PM me if you feel like you need to chat.

Post # 64
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Really sorry for your loss 🙁 

Post # 65
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Hey! You wait! There’s a possiblity they have the date wrong. Seriously. My Future Sister-In-Law is going trough this RIGHT now.

Turns out, despite all of our technology, they were WEEKS off on the date so of course it didn’t have a heartbeat. They even tried to give her pills to make her get rid of it as they assumed the worst, but she was like “I still FEEL pregnant,” so they checked again and bam!

She wasn’t nine weeks she was 2!

Stay positive, :).

Post # 66
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry…hoping you get some good news on Monday and you and Darling Husband are able to cope with this.

Post # 67
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

BiancaBee33:  I am so sorry for your loss.. this is heart breaking. Be gentle with yourself.

Post # 69
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

BiancaBee33:  I am so verry sorry!  Just remember, it was nothing you did or didn’t do!  Please don’t blame yourself!  Sending you hugs and prayers!!

Post # 70
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

BiancaBee33:  Oh god. I’m so so sorry for you. No this doesn’t have to be it. There are lots of success stories after 40. But that doesn’t take this away. Life is really not fair sometimes. *hugs*

Post # 71
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

BiancaBee33:  Sweetheart please don’t blame yourself. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs XO

Post # 72
Member
6628 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m sorry to hear about this and it’s probably for the best not to hold out hope for the next checkup lest you be saddened again, though I’m sure we’re all hoping for you.  Even though it’s not the same thing, and I hope it’s not a hurtful thing to suggest, you may want to start looking toward adoption.  There are so many little souls in this world who need loving parents.  Perhaps there is just another plan for you, when you are ready.

Post # 73
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

BiancaBee33:  I would avoid the D&C if you are only measuring 6 weeks then the medicine will probably be easier. The D&C is not comfortable and it is pretty painful. Inducing the miscarriage with medicine will just be a heavy period. It is painful, but not horrible.

Post # 74
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I am so so so sorry. You are in my thoughts & prayers!

Post # 75
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Im so so so sorry OP 🙁 hope it gets better soon. Youre in my thoughts and prayers <3

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