Post # 1
I’m not having a hens. Is that bad? I am getting a bit of pressure to have one..
It makes me a bit sad not having one.. but my reasons are:
1) pregnant sister lives 3 hours away and has small kids. Dont wanna force her to vome to my city for weddibg reasons 3 times in 2 months
2) half my girlfriends dont live in my city or near cities
3) our engagement is only 3 months so everything feels rushed and a hens feels like yet another thing to gave to sqeeze in
4) ive been uber dissapointed by my bridesmaids being absent bridesmaids.. i e not organisibg anything fof the wedding OR hens… so i dont wanna organise my own hens and be reminded my bridesmaids havent done anything for this.
All a bit crap. Thoughts?
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I know a bunch of ladies who didn’t have a bachelorette party or a hen’s. Do whatever makes you happiest.
Post # 3
If friends of yours are the ones pushing for it and they want to organise it for you, let them and have a good time.
But no, you shouldn’t organise one yourself and if you don’t want one, that’s fine too.
However, I’d take a step back and re-evaluate why you are upset with your Bridesmaids. What exactly have you expected from them so far that they haven’t delivered on? Realistically, their responsibility is to wear a pretty dress and stand beside you on your wedding day, pose for some pictures and help you out with little things day-of if necessary. They’re not responsible for helping plan your wedding or putting it together and, while it is nice of them to plan a bachelorette/hens party, it’s not an obligation and with such a short timeframe and most of them being out of town I can understand why they would forgo that bit.
Post # 4
The only thing required to marry is someone to marry and whatever paperwork is legally required. Everything else is optional and in the grand scheme of life no one actually gives a flying f*ck whether you have a hens party. Do as you please.
Post # 5
What do you mean by your bridesmaids aren’t helping out with organizing for the wedding? They don’t need to organize your wedding, maybe they aren’t offering to throw you a party because youve upset them by expecting them to do more than required?
Either way its not weird to not have a bachelorette party, plenty of people don’t
Post # 6
secretgarden : im confused about who is ‘pressuring you to have one’ if you’re bridesmaids ‘haven’t organized anything’.
Post # 7
i was engaged for one months and my husband gave a weeks notice on a monday we would marry tha friday. i also didnt get a hens.
maybe if you are having a rehersal you can plan a small womans only get together while everyone is present. mini hen do. i dont think there is nothing wrong with planning it by yourself because you cant count on no one but yourself to come through for you.
maybe mention it to your mom so she can organize some small games. over all i woulnt worry about it
Post # 8
Post # 9
secretgarden : well if your SIL wants you to have one so badly, there’s nothing stopping her from planning one. Just tell your SIL, “I don’t know of anything that’s been planned, but here’s the contact info for the bridesmaids if you want to get in touch with them and get the ball rolling.”
Post # 10
I didn’t have one and don’t regret it in the least. Bridal showers and bachelorettes are totally optional and I didn’t want the fuss, especially since like you my friends and family were scattered around the country and there wouldnt have been a logical meeting point.
Post # 11
dreeceves : “i was engaged for one months and my husband gave a weeks notice on a monday we would marry tha friday.”
Woah… what??? Your husband just straight up informed you that you were getting married in a week??? That’s… strange.
Post # 12
It sounds very much like you would like one so I would say secretgarden has it right – tell your SIL you don’t know of anyone organising anything yet. That is not very subtle and surely she will take the hint!
Post # 13
Lol yes we had a civil ceremony as we were already moving in and had a bunch of traveling plans. We chose to opt out a wedding but my mother in law set up a beautiful reception in her back yard (also thrown together in less than a a week) 3 years later still traveling…