(Closed) No, I am not donating to the cost of your wedding!! (rant)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve never heard of this before!  I don’t agree with it, it does sound money grabby.  I’m glad you stood up for yourself by not going though!  I hope this trend doesn’t take root where I live.

There’s already so many expectations with weddings, gifts, and money, I’m sure that this would drive me insane too.

Post # 4
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t exactly say it’s a new trend as it was around when my parents got married. (In CT.) It’s not something I would personally chose to do, but it’s not uncommon around here either!
ETA:Tickets usually cover food and drinks, and then prizes are raffled off.  It’s also not usually organized by the bride and groom.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve heard about it in passing on the bee. But as far as I know isn’t an american thing. What do the tickets include. Hey people are free to do what they want, but I think it’s rude, and I wouldn’t attend one.

Post # 6
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I didn’t realize (thank you, Google) that these had recently become fundraisers- yikes! I’ve gone to J&J bachelor/lette parties, which were fine, but the fundraiser would bug me, too.

*Especially* if I wasn’t invited to the wedding. That’s just rude and wrong.

Post # 7
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I had never heard about this until now! I’ve heard of jack and jill bachelor/bachelorette parties and jack and jill wedding showers but not as fundraisers. That’s crazy to me. I definitely wouldn’t attend, especially if it wasn’t someone I was close to

Post # 8
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

…just a Canadian here, wanting to chime in and say they are not the norm here. I’ve never heard of them, and while im sure they do happen sometimes here, they are not common.

Post # 9
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

…but the “Jack and Jill” isn’t their wedding. I’m assuming these are more like bachelor/ette parties? If that’s the case, it’s totally acceptable to expect your guests to pay their own way. Every b-party I’ve ever attended or heard of required at least some financial commitment from the guests. 

OP, what kind of fundraiser are we talking? That I totally don’t agree with but I’ve also honestly never heard of that being done. 

Post # 11
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@UpstateCait:  to me it’s sounds like they’re using it as a fundraiser. She said they had to pay for “tickets” plus food and drink. I don’t know what the tickets would be for other than to allow them into the jack and jill. That’s definitely not a normal bachelor/ette party!

ETA: Looks like the tickets were explained already, I just missed it

Post # 12
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@PaisleyMedic:  Re: your latest post… Ahh, I see. That’s definitely rude. 

Post # 13
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am having one. It is 5$ to get in and you get a full meal (beef on a bun, pasta, chicken, salads, etc). You do need to pay for your own booze which is around 2$ a drink. There are wickid prizes that you can win (buckets of booze, big screen tvs, gift certificates to restaurants, golf bags, ipads, hotel stays etc).

Sure they are a bit of a fundraiser and are very common where I live. Everyone has one. I have friends who seek out stag and does because they liquor is cheap,you get fed and can come home with some wickid stuff and you maybe spend 40$

Post # 14
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I hate ALL of the hubub leading up to a wedding. It’s a wedding! It’s not an engagement party AND a bridal shower (just a way to grab extra gifts) AND a bachelorette party AND a Jack and Jill AND a bachelor party… I understand some people like these things, adn more power to you… but it all seems a bit much to me. Actually it seems ridiculous.  It’s ONE day, not a series of events throughout the year.  I think all this crap is why people lose sight of what a wedding actually is, which is a contract between two people. A romantic contract, but a contract. And a wedding is the day you make the contract. DONE.

Post # 15
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MrsFeatherbottom: I just assumed that the tickets paid for whatever it was that they were doing but I guess I was wrong. I’ve been to bachelorette parties where everyone had to pay a certain amount to participate but that included a limo, a show, a hotel room, whatever. We were actually getting something out of it and the bride/groom wasn’t profiting off of our contribution.

Post # 16
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Interesting…I always thought a Jack & Jill party was the same thing as a shower, but the FIs/SOs/husbands were invited. I learned something today!

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