Post # 1
Ughh! Why do people automatically assume that if you’re under 25 and getting married that you’re either pregnant or planning to start mass producing children as soon as you tie the knot?! My goodness, I am sick of the ignorant comments.
A family friend called me and we were talking. He asked me if I was still in school, to which I replied that I was and that I really enjoy it. He then says, “Well, we’ll see. You’re probably gonna have two babies by the time you graduate, assuming you make it to graduation.” Wow! Umm, wtf? No, I’m not. Fiance and I aren’t even sure we want children… ever. So, we are very cautious in using BC and backup EVERY time. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell the friend all of that business. Then, before the call ended, he said, “Don’t get pregnant before I get there!” He’s moving down here next month and felt the need to inform me not to get pregnant before he gets here. Who died and made him Commander in Chief of my reproductive choices?!
A lot of other people have asked when I plan on having a baby. I feel like the pressure is on, tremendously. I didn’t think it would be. When we get married I’ll be 22 and Fiance, 27. I thought people would wait a few years before asking where the baby was. But, they already are! FI’s grandma keeps mentioning it. My grandpa wanted to know when his “grandbabies” would be arriving. The list goes on.
I hate to let those people down, but we’re not even decided on children. We’re both on the fence for the same reasons. Mainly, we’re just not interested in the ball and chain of endless responsibility. We like being able to sleep in, go places, watch movies in peace, have sex, or whatever without a whining committment clinging to our legs.
Then, I hate for people to condescendingly assume that I’ll be having children and destroying my life within the next few years. Marriage does not equate to children. You can be married and choose not to have children, or choose to delay having children. I am too young to be a mother. I don’t want to be a mother, at all, right now. Why would I bring a kid into that? Becuase I’m married? That’s a horrible reason. I plan to continue use of pills and condoms until and unless we are 100% certain we want a baby.
Post # 3
This should be in 20-somethings, I guess.
Post # 4
I guess he thought he was being funny and insightful. Not too much you can say to people like this, it is really none of their business. I would just tell them you are in no rush and when it is time to let them know, you will.
Post # 5
Don’t feel to bad, the min. we announced our engagement the baby talk began. I even had a few people ask when i was due, ( I am a little heavy, not a whole lot mind you but college diets do do a number on you . 🙂 ) We told them that we plan on waiting untill after grad school, and ” we’re getting a puppy, does that count?”
Make jokes about it and nicely ( or not so much depends on your mood) tell them thank you but its none of their concern.
Post # 6
I am usually understanding of the older relatives. They were raised on the premise that you got married and made babies, that’s it. But, when people act like I’m ruining my life because they’re sure my Fiance is going to have me barefoot and pregnant by next year, they drive me nuts! Guess what?! Married people do use contraceptives. Especially us! We’re not interested in rushing through our lives. If I have kids I want to give them the best, not scrape by every week like my mom did.
Post # 7
I feel your pain. I will be 35 and Fiance will be 31 when we finally get married. EVERYONE asks when we are goning to haave kids. I am getting sick of trying to explain things. My new answer is we’re not. When they ask why, I just say: “Cause I don’t like kids.” That usually shuts them up. lol
Post # 8
Ah.. haha… yes, my Future Mother-In-Law asked me several times after we got engaged if I was expecting. It was just such a surprise that she would assume this is the reason we are getting married that I didn’t know what to say the first couple times, but I’ve got it figured out now : No! That’s not the only reason people in their early twenties get married! I can’t believe how many well meaning relatives have this idea. I try to just take their comments with a grain of salt and laugh about it later. But your family friend? What nerve! Good luck. 🙂
Post # 9
I’m always afraid people think I’m pregnant because we are having a quick engagement (5 months). But i think people understand that we aren’t getting married because I’m pregnant because I always mention my FI’s position in the Navy.
My mom, also, is very adament about keeping me on birth control because she wants me to finish school before I have kids and also she just thinks I am too young.