(Closed) No idea what kind of wedding I want!

posted 5 years ago in Themes
Post # 3
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@zimme1sm:  First of all, if you don’t want a big wedding, don’t have one. Second, I, like many girls here, and Pintrest crazies, so I would go to Pintrest and just type in wedding ideas. You will get a TON of stuff. Or even a Google search. Do you have colors in mind? If not, start there. Look through color swatches.

After you get a good color scheme in mind figure out if you are having a theme. We didn’t have a theme, but our colors were dusty rose pink, brown, and white. We just decorated using our colors.

And lastly, find your venue after you have an idea. You can book that a year or so out. The sooner the better, but it doesn’t have to do done for a few months yet.

By the way, you may/will probably change your mind a zillion times throughout the process. Wedding planning is kind of trial and error with a lot of error lol. But it will be ok. Just make sure to have the wedding YOU and YOUR Fiance want.

Post # 4
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@zimme1sm:  I was 6 months out from my wedding before I decided on my colors. I suggest trying to find your wedding style first. Do you like rustic, shabby chic, modern? Do you see yourself having a formal, semi-formal or laid-back wedding? I also suggest take a break from planning the wedding right now and enjoy the engagement. Very few brides do this. Once you’re married it’s over and done with. Plan an engagement party or talk to your mother about hosting one. This may help her get onboard and feel included and her input valued.

Post # 5
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@zimme1sm:  We didn’t have any major ideas about our wedding when we got engaged.  One night my Fiance and I sat down to discuss what we each wanted.  He wanted a big country club wedding with family, friends, acquaintances, the bigger, the better.  I wanted to elope just the two of us and take a two week honeymoon somewhere great in Europe then throw a regular party for close friends and family when we returned.

We were able to compromise on having an intimate wedding with our closest friends and family (a guestlist of around 50 people.)  Then we looked at our budget to see what we could afford.  After a few weeks of tossing around ideas, he suggested we get married on the beach and I loved the idea so we ran with it.  We looked into beachside ceremony/reception sites and ended up renting a beach house; the ceremony will be on the beach behind the house and the reception will be in the backyard of the house overlooking the beach.  So we essentially ended up with a beach themed wedding.

Figure out what you and your Fiance want then worry about everyone else.  Since you’re paying for it, you two have the final say.  Once you establish your budget, check out venues and then worry about a theme.  You may not even have a theme.  Your theme may just be your wedding colors and there is nothing wrong with that.

Post # 6
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@beachbride1216:  +1. I forgot to add that I didn’t have a theme but if I knew what I knew now I probably would have went with an ombre theme. My colors were DB coral (more pink than orange), peach and blush.

Post # 7
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You know, once you really start looking you’ll be able to understand more what you want. Since you don’t really know (really, the same way we were in the beginning), check out a bunch of different types of venues. We focused mainly on barns at first (which was a disaster) and wound up with a really nice clubhouse resturant!

Do some research so people don’t try to screw you over, that’s where we ran into the most problems. We’re still (FI especially) stewing over some of those incidents… no fun.

We’re in the midst of planning our wedding, and don’t really have a “theme,” a color scheme, or anything in particular we have to have. We wanted a photobooth? OK, let’s get one. Fiance wants cupcakes instead of a cake? OK we can do that! 
I guess you could say our theme is “stuff that makes us smile”
The key thing here is that we aren’t letting anyone else’s opinions matter more than our own – and the trick to that is that we really don’t discuss our wedding with friends and family, unless they’re heavily involved (i.e. maid of honor)

BUT, let me warn you, from a girl who burnt herself out way too soon and didnt enjoy the first months of the engagment like she should have:
Enjoy yourself!
Go on dates, giggle together, pick up a book of questions and ask them to each other. You will be surprised at how much being engaged to a person can change the playing field!

Good luck!

Post # 8
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@zimme1sm:  We dont really have a theme but rather decided on a feel we wanted. We wanted to keep it small, more like a large family gathering/dinner party. We then narrowed down locations by the ability to have it last late into the evening, have one large table and decent lighting. We didnt decide on colors until after we booked the space. Pinterest is a great help for just finding little things you like but if you are stuck on finding a theme try finding a vibe/atmosphere you want and build out from there for your day.


Post # 9
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Budget budget budget budget…….

You get the idea.

Figuring out your budget will be the best way to start getting ideas. Once you have a budget – start looking at venues – once you have those two decided – they will help determine the rest of the wedding…well the big things at least.

So if you have a constrained budget – and you end up with a outdoor venue – then you know your dress type needs to be something sweet and lowy – this will help determine your bridesmaid dresses and then what your groomsmen will wear. (For example – you wouldn’t wear a full ballgown outdoors – and your BM’s would probably be in flats and shorter dresses and your groom and his men would probably not be in full tuxes – so khaki vests or something similar.)

If you have a bigger budget and find a gorgeous venue then you will probably have a more elegant reception with a more elegant dress and your bridal parties will also be dressed up as well.

Basically, figure out your budget.

After the big things are figured out you will have been exposed to more wedding ideas as you go along (from seeing inspo pics and vendor pics, etc) that will start to feel what colors you like, what types of centerpieces you like and other small details will begin to fall into place.

Post # 10
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@zimme1sm:  How do you spend your time as a couple?  What is your style like-Do you prefer to mingle with lots of family and friends, host special dinners with a few friends? Or do you prefer casual get togethers? What kind of environment do you prefer? Home? Restaurant? Lounge? Historic? Elegance? Country? Beach? Bed & Breakfast/Inn? Winery? Farm? Church? Theater? Traditional Ballroom? Garden? A mountain lodge? A Summer Camp? A Nature Center?

Because you posted “I started looking at wedding venues and nothing appeals to me at all. I get sick at the thought of a big wedding when the money can be put into something else. I really think that I would like a destination wedding, but I worry too much that the people I want there wouldn’t want to come or couldn’t afford to.”

Some couples decide they want to invite “everyone” and they may choose a local church, park or recreation center, a summer camp, and choose to keep costs low by serving cake and champagne, or afternoon appetizers, a simple potluck, a picnic, or bbq. or ethnic foods.

Others prefer to celebrate with immediate family, or maybe add in a few friends for a more intimage wedding. You could chose to rent a room within a restaurant, or a B &B/Inn type atmosphere, it could be either elegant or casual. 

Perhaps there is a great government park or another (low cost)historic site/venue that would provide a destination feel to your wedding without travel cost burdens for your guests, so that there wouldn’t be someone you wanted to attend that couldn’t.

It might be easiest to start with a proposed budget range,  a potential guest list, and an  ideal “feeling” to your day -whether it be elegant, casual, whimsical, glamorous, traditional, vintage, etc.  Perhaps you have items you already own that you would like to showcase at your wedding? Antiques, or hobby related items? Do what you feel most comfortable with.  Good luck.

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