Post # 17
Ya, way back in the day it was common that women went to college just to get their MRS degree. In fact, I have recently heard that remark and was really surprised that people still feel this way. Let it roll off your back, OP. Just a generational gap. 🙂
Post # 18
I’m actually amazed I don’t have any Aunt Lillians caught in the generation gap: I’m in the same place as you, 21, one more semester of college, engaged, and DEFINITELY not planning on dropping out: but I also do know that years ago, when women got married, it was often expected that they wouldn’t need a career or school. Obviously that’s not the case now, thank goodness! And just look at it this way–now you have the chance to prove her wrong by finishing your degree and showing her how times have changed!!
Post # 19
Oh my god. This happened to me the other day AT WORK. One of the older guys I work with found out that I was engaged and asked when we were going to “pull the trigger.” I told him that the wedding is next summer, and he was like, “Oh, so we’ve only got you for a year.” Um, no? Why the hell would I quit my job just because I’m getting married? WTFFFFFFFFFFFF
Post # 20
Fiance and I feel your pain! Fiance proposed two months before I graduated with my BA, and he still has a year left. People were constantly asking if I was going to finish my dregree before I got married. Really?! I had two months people! Two months!
FI’s parents actually went on a rampage about how he needed to finish his degree. Nevermind the fact that we planned the wedding around his graduation anyway. 😛 I wanted a late November/early December wedding and I didn’t want to wait until 2014, so we set the wedding for July 2013, two months after he gets his degree. His parents still weren’t too happy about it.
They’ll get over it, and eventually they will stop asking.
Post # 21
I’m sorry, but I had to laugh a little (in an “I totally understand how you’re feeling” way!) at your post. I had a chorus of that question when I announced that I was engaged. The other question we (or more specifically, my FI) got a lot is, “is she pregnant?!” And I’m probably going to slap anyone who assumes I’m not going to work because I’m getting married. I’ll probably be the main breadwinner in our family!
Post # 22
My fiance’ and I are getting married in 2013 after 5 and half years of dating. Because of finances with his school grants he is taking a break with his schooling and picked up two jobs to pay for our wedding since I cannot work (medical problems) and his father was like, “Are you going to just going to throw away your education for this girl?!” I love how after 5 and half years I am considered “this girl” in his eyes, that made me feel great. My Fiance and I discussed this for months before making this decision and he plans on finishing his degree in late 2013/early 2014 since we don’t plan on having kids for many, many years. Guess what? Now my FI’s family thinks I am making him quit his schooling, ruining his career just so we can get married. That is awesome….
I feel your pain, what she said was plain stupid. I probably would have been really sarcastic to her…..in my mind. Hopefully you explained yourself to her and hopefully she will understand.
Post # 23
I have had so many people ask me this question. A lot of them say it is there main concern about us getting married. I am in graduate school- so obviously I am pretty dedicated. Plus we already live together. I don’t see how things could possible change enough to make me drop out of school! I have no idea why people say things like that, but I completely sympathize with you.
Post # 24
lmaooo i totally agree! i got engaged the summer before my junior year and the wedding will be the summer before my last semester (graduating a semester early) and my dad asked about finishing school -____- no dad, im just gonna get married and drop out with 18 credits left to finish, marriage does not equal no school, people can go to school together and be married!
Post # 25
Yep, we got this question a lot too! DH’s dad actually wasn’t happy at all when he heard about the proposal, because he thought that meant DH wasn’t going to finish school. Now that we are married and both still haven’t dropped out (lol) he’s thrilled for us. I’m not sure why it is so hard for people to wrap their heads around married people being in school! We’re going to struggle financially for a couple of years anyways, we might as well do it together!
Post # 26
I got married when I was 19. DH and i were both in school, and I am still at uni, and starting my post-grad next year (so another 3 years)
My cousin, who wanted to be like Paris Hilton (in a sense where someone asked her if she wants to make porn like her she said yes wtf) was like” you should be ashamed that you got married so young, no money etc…
well, guess what? DH is successful in his field since his graduation, we are doing well for ourselves. And her? dropping out of uni yet again. (wtf?)
Post # 27
Ugh, I am graduating in 2014, but still get odd looks for my enagement. I do take comfort that my entire family is super excited and super supportive. Not one of my immediate familyfor close friends has said anything negative!
Now, those who don’t know my or my Fiance think we are batshit crazy. But meh, not my problem.
Take the high road! They don’t know your goals, and what you two want to build together. Ignore them!
Post # 28
I get that all the time! I’m a senior in college, and i’m having to plan the wedding around my school schedule, having it the weekend before spring break. EVERYONE tells me ‘you’re making it harder on yourself’ ‘finish school first’ ‘you’re never going to finish’…. I have ONE semester left. Why would I quit now?! I understnd your frustration completely. People should just keep to their own!
Post # 29
I am actually thinking about going back to school for an extra degree part time after I get married (haven’t spoken about this to FH but he supports me in everything anyway)
Honestly, some people see marriage as THE END rather than the FANTASTIC NEW BEGINNING. My life is so not over when I get married (at 22). In fact it is only going to get better 😀
No offence to your aunt (i’m all for respect) but I think she had a minor case of foot in mouth syndrome there.
Post # 30
My parents reacted the very same way when my fiance proposed. However, both of us finished our bachelors degrees and are both registered nurses. We are in grad school now for NP school but we’re still able to pull of working full time, grad school, and wedding planning in the midst of it all. As long as you have your priorities straight you should be fine 🙂
Post # 31
I can sympathize. My husband and I just got married and I am 23 (he’s 25). I am in graduate school but my husband is still working on his undergrad degree (while working full time). Right after we got engaged his aunt asked us when we were planning on getting married and his grandma chimed right in with “not until Matthew is done with school!” I thought that was kind of funny. It’s just an old school way of thinking…
If I’ve learned anything so far in life it is that things don’t go as planned… and that you will miss out on life if you’re too busy waiting for XYZ to line up before following your heart.