(Closed) No invite an oversight or faux pas?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Wow, sticky situation!  Has anyone asked the bride & groom?  It could just be an accidental oversight, or invites might have been lost in the mail or delivered to the wrong address.

In my mind there is no sense in getting upset about something until one knows for sure there is something to get upset about.  

Post # 4
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would have one of the couples who did get an invite call the bride/groom and say, "I just wanted to touch base.  I spoke with my siblings and the didn’t get an invite.  I wasn’t sure what to do, but on the chance that it was lost in the mail, I thought I’d just call and let you know."

If the invites were lost in the mail (I had some invites with absolutely correct addresses get returned as undeliverabel!) it will look like those siblings were too rude to RSVP!

So just go ahead and have one call them and politely ask.

Post # 5
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is there anyway "Minnie" could ask the groom about this?

Post # 6
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Gosh this is kind of tough.  Are there family problems?  They are essentially step siblings with the groom.  I don’t see it as typically OK for him to invite 2 siblings but not the other two. (This isn’t like second cousins or something.)

I’d like to know more about Mickey’s reaction when Minnie brought this up.  I can’t blame her for checking it out.  Maybe they had the addresses wrong.  Did he not say much because he knew they weren’t invited?  Was he in the dark?  I think he should really at least investigate what’s up.  Maybe it was a misunderstanding.  If they don’t intend to invite the other two siblings, I don’t think they should try to strong arm them in to inviting them.  Then no one will be happy.  The bride and groom won’t be.  The step siblings won’t be.  They might go, but deep down they’ll know they weren’t really wanted there.

As for the invited siblings skipping, they have to make the decision that makes them feel comfortable.  If I was invited and knew my sibling wasn’t, ( without an extremely rare but reasonable explanation), I would be inclined to decline the invitation.  Yes it could cause a problem in the family.  But really if the other siblings aren’t invited, the problem is already caused.

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