(Closed) No Invite For Employee Hang Outs

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@b00kbug:  Is it maybe a particular social group in your workplace that go out together? It makes sense that ex-employees who are still a part of that group would be invited and you wouldn’t if that’s the case. Maybe if you’re not particularly close with any of the women then they just wouldn’t think to invite you. It sounds like this is more of a ‘friends thing’ than a ‘work friends thing’ if you get what I mean. It sucks that people are so cliquey and I’m sorry you’re feeling left out :(. 


Post # 5
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Unfriend them on FB.  Obviously you aren’t their friend.  Otherwise, buck up and ask them next time if you can meet up with them.  Maybe they have been doing it for so long they just forget to invite you along.

Post # 6
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@b00kbug:  Ugh I know what you mean. There’s nothing worse then standing awkwardly while a bunch of collegues talked about how much fun they had at the awesome-thing-they-didn’t-invite-you-to right in front of you. 

Post # 7
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@b00kbug:  UGH I used to be in your shoes about two years ago.  Everyone else was friends, always drinking, doing whatever, never inviting me along and it was not fun.  You can turn it around but not overnight.  There’s an episode of how i met your mother where marshall starts working at a law firm and he wants to fit in so his wife and friends work ‘his thing’.  Try something that works for you.  You could bring in donuts and bagles or coffee.  If you like sports, you can try and start a fantasy football league or be basketball bracket girl.  I used to bring in chili, you can make a big pot of it in a slow cooker and bring it in for sharing, its affordable and most people like it.  Usually people will thank you, then you can share something about how you made it, maybe a joke or anything to build rapport.

Here is the MOST important part-say yes to every invite!!!!!  If you DO get invited to a happy hour or after work get together and blow it off…you may not get invited again, bc, well, you never go, why get the invite?  

For the bold:  Host a party of some sorts.  You could do something fun that gets everyone involved, tastefully simple, lia sophia, mary kay or avon!  Or just throw a dinner party, who cares, good luck!






Post # 8
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with beachbride. Unfriend them on FB, and then if they ask you why you did it, tell them the truth – you got tired of seeing them post about hanging out together and never inviting you!

Post # 9
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Why don’t you try initiating a happy hour or something?

Post # 10
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@sailor:  I think this is a great idea.  Try initiating a happy hour!  I think it might go over well.  

I have a few coworkers in my office who I consider real friends.  We all started around the the same time and hang out together outside of the office pretty often.  When we started, we tried having happy hours and other social events with other coworkers but some declined multiple invites and others are so secretive about their personal life that it wasn’t fun to socialize with them – One kept it a secret that he had a girlfriend and lived with her.  No one knew until a coworker ran into him and the girlfriend at some outdoor festival.  She was not happy that no one knew she even existed!

I think showing that you are interested in hanging out by organizing a happy hour or something will go a long way.  If they are still cliquish, then defriend them and forget about it, not worth your time.

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