(Closed) no, it's NOT all about the bride…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

i agree 🙂

while all eyes will be on the bride as she is walking up the aisle, the eyes will be on the bride AND groom for all the rest, it is about both of them 🙂 i am certainly trying to encompass that when planning our wedding, i am asking my FI about everything, and our two main colours for the wedding are his favourite colour and my favourite colour 🙂 we are naming our tables after books, both books he likes and mine, and we are trying to make sure it is a happy event for both families, and mixing up the families too so they can all get to know each other 🙂

Post # 4
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

This mentality drives me crazy. There has been numerous times during wedding planning where my FI has said that the wedding is all about me so i should choose “xyz”. I am not sure if he really feels that way or was just trying to dodge giving an opinion (he hates creating any kind of controversy).

Post # 5
Member
3002 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Agree 100%!

Post # 6
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m in the same boat as @teresa1083w My partner has been married before & isn’t keen on the limelight. He likes to tell me the wedding day is all about me, no champ it’s about US!

Post # 7
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I agree, and I think we should also acknowledge that the wedding and reception are about the guests too and their comfort and needs matter. I absolutely go crazy when I read Bees brush off concerns about their guests and inconveniencing them by claiming that it’s all about the bride and the guests can deal.

Post # 8
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Agreed. I’ve gotta shake my head any time I see a blatantly-bride-centric wedding. Really? He wanted to wear a hot pink vest? Really? Or when I see bridesmailoo with the jaw-clenchiest forced smiles, looking exhausted at the alter. Or albums where it’s all “look at the bride enjoying her day!” while the groom lurksion the background. 

By that same token, I don’t like it when people focus on the wedding and not the marriage at all. There’s a reason that so many marriages end in the first two years. Plan for a lifetime, not just a day. 

Post # 9
Member
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

YES! Thank you! I was explaining this to someone yesterday. It isn’t about the bride. Your wedding should be the day your friends and loved ones see you as a family unit for the first time. The day you commit to spending your lives together. It isn’t about who can have the biggest party and having a big “pay attention to me!” day. Yes, odds are it will end up about the bride. The groom doesn’t really care most of the time. But it shouldn’t be planned that way. 

 

I was explaining how much the Alfred Angelo Disney princess dresses annoyed me to someone yesterday. They’re beautiful but they encapsulate everything wrong with this bride culture. I get that you spent a long time imagining your dream wedding. Pink, poofy, wearing Cinderella’s ball gown! Did you even imagine a groom? Or the rest of your life post-wedding? It shouldn’t be about looking like a princess. It should be about celebrating your love.

Post # 10
Member
9484 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

FI always tells me it’s my wedding.  I always correct him.

Post # 11
Member
9484 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Double post.

Post # 13
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree. I had to tell my FI that there’s a lot of pressure on me because people want to know what I want instead of what WE want….. And the perception is all he has to do is show up in his suit! Luckily he has been supportive of everything and has offered his input and has taken on a few tasks himself.

Post # 14
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Adams_bee:  AGREED! 

However its the bridal industry that pushes this to make money. But that is why I love the Bee, no crazy bridezilla’s here !:D 

Post # 15
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@MrsRose:  loved reading that, esp. the part about gaps and the cocktail hour

Post # 16
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree 100% with this!!!

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