(Closed) No jeans allowed at venue

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you just put “semi-formal attire” or “cocktail attire,” it will do the trick. I think that adding “requested” sounds a bit, I dunno…passive-agressive? You can go into greater detail of what “semi-formal” and “cocktail” mean on your website. 

I highly doubt people will think “DENIM!!” when invited to an evening wedding, but then again, I don’t know your peeps 😉 

I also sort of doubt that your country club will bother to kick out 1 or 2 wedding guests who inexplicably come in jeans. It’s in their right, but if you were them, would you really want to exercise that right for a few individuals that are the guests of clients who are spending thousands? 

Post # 18
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would definitely put the “semi formal attire” on the invite, but also spread it by word of mouth. If you have a wedding website, maybe you could also put the dress attire regulations from the venue on there as well.

Post # 19
1039 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My venue has the exact same dress code (also a golf and country club venue here!), but they also have no flip flops or fleece!

I didn’t include anything on the invite suite itself; I have it on our website, and the website is listed on the business card. *fingers crossed* people go on the website!

Post # 20
772 posts
Busy bee

I love it when I am given a heads up on what attire will be appropriate for the occasion, so I am all for it!

Post # 22
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@BothCoasts:  This is California, jeans are like our second skin. 😉

Post # 23
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t know when jeans became considered “semi-formal” if you have to spell it for people do it, and if that what your club requires just makes it bonus. I’ve never seen people dressed in jeans at weddings until recently as most weddings I have been too are on the east coast and I think most people would never do that here. I think they are ok for the laid back or ranch/rustic type of wedding. However it boggles my mind why people would get an invite at a hotel/venue type place and think it is ok to show up in their jeans.

Post # 24
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was afraid that ‘semi formal’ would give people the impression that dress jeans would be ok so I put ‘cocktail’ on my invites. Would that work for you?

Post # 25
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Treejewel19:  Hey, I’m a native Angeleno and say that it’s the flip-flops that you should be worrying about!


…I mean, like, foam flip-flops, since leather flip-flops are o.k. for cocktails, right??

Post # 26
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would not write that the venue requires formal attire because although country clubs often have a dress code, it usually does not mean suits or tuxes.  i think mine says no shirts without collars except those that are tennis or golf specific.

this is not from my venue but this is typical country club dress code:


i think if you said the venue had a dress code, some people might show up dressed like serena williams or tiger woods.

if i was concerned with guests showing up in jeans, i would just write “semi-formal attire” or “cocktail attire”  or whatever attire you decide on and leave out the required or suggested part.  no one would be offended and some will actually find it helpful.  i know my group of family and friends so i didn’t include the attire on my invites.  if i wrote black-tie, some will still show up in suits or short dresses and it would make the ones in tuxes and full length dresses feel out of place.  i also know that no one will show up in jeans (even if the jeans were $300).  i’m from southern california and although we do love our fancy expensive denim and track suits, we would never even think about wearing them to a wedding  we love getting dolled up and a wedding is just another excuse to do so.

my only concern was the rehearsal.  i wanted to make sure everyone showed up wearing appropriate attire – no tank tops or flip flops.  a few of the guys will be golfing after the rehearsal so they will be wearing appropriate golf attire. 

whether you choose semi-formal or cocktail, please make sure you understand what each means.  there are noticeable differences betwee white tie, black tie, creative black tie, semi-formal, cocktail, business casual…

semi-formal is actually closer to black tie than cocktail. for semi-formal, tuxes are not requiredfor men but you still have to wear a dark suit and while full-length dresses are not required for women, nicer luxe fabric and tailored dresses are.  cocktail is actually less dressy than semi-formal.  men do not have to wear suits but can opt for slacks or sports coats, and neckties are not required. women will often wear sexier dresses for cocktail.

i actually prefer semi-formal because it gives people the option of wearing a tux and not feel like they are a part of the wedding party but does not require those who do not own own to go out and rent it.  and for women, it gives us the flexibility of finding the perfect full-length dress but does not limit us to just full-length.  but shorter dresses should still be knee length or longer and should not be too revealing.  think more like the formal dress shop in nordstroms (adrianna pappell, abs, calvin klein…) cocktail on the other hand can be a dress from the juniors section – short length, tight, and with more skin showing.

Post # 27
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

lol this isn’t etiquette I’m sure, but I’d probably put a note on the invites that said something like “Please be aware that the venue will not admit anyone wearing jeans.” I’m sure that’s considered rude, but I know too many people who just don’t get it when things aren’t spelled out…

Post # 28
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m surprised that you would even need to write something in order to prevent someone coming in jeans. An evening wedding at a country club doesn’t scream jeans attire. But it’s totally normal to put Cocktail Attire on the invite, the same way someone would write Black Tie Optional or Black Tie. In my religion, sometimes Modest Attire is Requested is written on an invitation too. 

Post # 30
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

skip “semi” and skip “Required”

at the bottom of your invitation just put “formal attire”.

its very cutomary for invitations, and will hopefully weed out people who think jeans can be “semi-formal”

Post # 31
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Put required…it’s your wedding! I have seen weddings where people come in jeans because it’s whay THEY wanted to do. If it’s what you want then put it. If your guests love you and want to be SUPPORTIVE of YOU AND YOUR MATE and wish you the best on your special day then they will do it..please..it’s only a few hours. Without restrictions people would do what they want and you will be the one upset.

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