(Closed) No kid wedding… no nephew?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

You can have a completely child-free wedding; just know that it is likely your Future Sister-In-Law or Future Brother-In-Law may decline to come if his/her child isn’t invited and it may cause hard feelings. That is totally your right, though. It’s also fine to invite children in circles — a reasonable cutoff would be nieces/nephews only, if you did want your nephew there. 

We are having a child-free wedding and while some people are upset about it, we stuck to our guns. To have invited children would have meant to double our guest list, and we did not want to do that.

Post # 3
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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ananonymousbride :  “They” can come if you are referring to the nephew’s parents. If you are not inviting any kids, you are not obligated to invite the nephew. It is however, ok to invite the children of siblings and no other children.

Post # 4
Member
7635 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
ananonymousbride :  A word in private to the parents is best. Probably it’s best coming from your fiance since it’s his sibling who is one of the parents.

You’re not obligated, but a lot depends on the family dynamics. In my extended family, nieces and nephews are always invited, even if the wedding is otherwise child-free. So we had one 2 year old niece, and she was no trouble. But a lot depends on the parents and the child. We weren’t considering not inviting her, but if we had, it would have caused more tension that it was worth.

Post # 5
Member
14179 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Of course you aren’t obligated. You can, however, make an exception for an immediate family member’s child without allowing any other children to attend.

A compromise possibility is to look into a nanny or a sitter who will stay with him on  the premises or nearby. That way, the nephew can make an appearance and then be taken back to a room where parents can check in throughout the reception. 

 

Post # 6
Member
7353 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If your only issue is the one child, it might be best for all involved if you draw a firm boundary about it. We had a mostly child free wedding but our child and the children of our siblings were there (so the two year old running around was in good company). I wouldn’t want to have just one toddler at my wedding and I wouldn’t want to be the only mommy chasing a toddler at a wedding.

Post # 7
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think if you want to be respectful about it you may need to have a private discussion with the parents.  Just explain that you have to draw a hard line or others will be upset that you made exceptions.

On the other hand if you want him there but no other children maybe include him in the wedding and say only the ring bearer and flower girl are allowed to attend.  Or you could just say no children at the reception but all are welcome to the ceremony.

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