(Closed) No Kid wedding

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well don’t tell people you are having a no kid wedding when there ARE kids there. Since there will be kids attending, the best way is to just write peoples names on the invitation on who you want to invite. if they try to RSVP for their kids you can call them and say the invitiation was just for X and Y. 

Post # 3
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I agree with Jellybellynelly, just put “Sam and Erika Smith” if you aren’t including their children and most people will get the point. Usually if the kids are invited as well you would put “Smith Family” or something. Have you asked your caterer about doing kid sized servings, though? If it’s a buffet you could always just plan to pay for one meal for every two (or even three) kids. They usually make a lot of food anyways and like you said, kids don’t eat full meals most of the time. But I totally get not wanting kids there…we went back and forth on this and it looks like we will have a few young’ns. 

Post # 4
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t include children on the invites at all, don’t mention it. Technically there will be one child at your wedding, but since she is in the wedding party you should be fine.

Be prepared for blow back about it and for people to not come because of it. It really depends on whether kid free weddings are something that’s done in your area.

But the best course of action is to just tell people, that you’re close to that have kids and may be expecting to bring their kids. Especially if those people will be making travel plans prior to receiving an invite. 

Post # 5
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I also don’t think it’s poor etiquette to include it on the website. Depending on which site you use, you can probably add a FAQ page that gently says “we love your kids but we’re giving you the night off” or something to that effect.

Post # 6
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We had no children (except for the flower girl) at our wedding but we also held it at an all inclusive adult resort so that alone let everyone know that children were not allowed. We did have it posted on our website as well. 

Post # 7
Member
3656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We put it on our wedding website that it was a no kid wedding (worded differently of course). We explained it over the phone to anyone who was confused.

Post # 8
Member
3187 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
beegirl1989 :  well you’re not having a no kids wedding, so don’t tell people you are. Address the invitations to those invited. Normally I’d also tell you to put a note about the wedding being “adults only” on your website (we did this) but since it’s not adults only you don’t have that option. Don’t reach out and text people – but do be prepared to answer questions when family reaches out to you about the kiddos. 

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2018

We are not having any children in our wedding, and I am very set on this. After hearing a couple of stories  when polite wording along the lines ‘we would prefer if you left your kids at home’, ‘we want you to relax without the little ones’ etc were interpreted as it still is kids optional, I am not taking any risks. I will put a blunt ‘this is adults only event’ on save the dates as well as actual invites. 

Post # 10
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m just going to add be prepared for some serious backlash- you’re allowing your friend to bring her daughter but your family can’t bring their children?

sorry bee but good luck explaining that one to your fam because your future DH ‘wants no kids’ 

Post # 11
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

I think flower girl or Paige boy is the exception to the no kids rule. Clearly write on the invitations who is invited to the wedding.

We did this and guests clearly got the message. It’s rude to say no kids.

Post # 12
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is perfectly acceptable etiquette-wise to only invite children in the wedding party to the reception. You can include something on your website to that effect.

It is never acceptable to point out who is not invited. Address your invitations to those who are invited. Note the number of seats allotted on the rsvp card.

Do not use patronizing language like  “we love your kids but we’re giving you the night off”  anywhere. It is not up to you to tell parents how to enjoy their free time. They can choose to attend or decline if they don’t want to leave their children with a caregiver.

When the subject of your wedding comes up, start making casual reference by saying something like “we sure hope you are able to find a sitter so we can celebrate with you”. That will open the door to a discussion before you even mail the invitations.

Prepare a response for those who will demand their children be allowed to attend or cross out “2 seats” and change it to “3 ” or more.

“I’m sorry. There must have been a misunderstanding. We are unable to accommodate the children. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”

 

 

Post # 13
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

We put this on our RSVP card 

“We wish we could have our younger friends and family but this is an adult only event”

No one even questioned it and a couple friends used the same wording on theirs hahaha.

My brother had a no kid wedding with one kid guest and no one cared, at least no one said anything. 

Do whatever you want, people might have a thought or two about it but it won’t affect your day. 

Post # 15
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Disclaimer: I don’t particularly give a rats furry butt what etiquette dictates on this issue so if thats important to you dont listen to me.

We put it on the website under our FAQ section and addressed STDs by specific names. After a few people either overlooked the website, completely ignored that their kids weren’t mentioned on the envelopes or said screw what they want I’m bringing my uninvited crumbsnatchers regardless we then politely put “blah and blah joyfully invite you to their adult only wedding….” on the invites. Common sense is not always common and we had neither the patience nor desire to deal with people who couldn’t respect our decision.

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