(Closed) No kids allowed at my wedding…rude or my perrogative?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Your perogative! People will compain, let them. With big families, sometimes this is just what you have to do. Just elt people know you’re not able to have kids come.

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@jleigh1008:

I would say itis totally fine, just dont do any exceptions and maybe set the age.

on the other hand does it mean that you will not have a flower girl and ring bearer? 

if you and you FH are fine with this , do it. it is your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

It’s totally not rude at all. I’ve been to plenty of weddings with no kids. We had kids at ours because I made most of my money through high school and college babysitting and nannying for a lot of the same families and it was important to me that they be there [and our price per person was reeeeeally low]. 

Don’t feel like you need to defend your stance…it’s your wedding, no one should need more of an explanation : )

Post # 6
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is there a hotel nearby, or where you’re blocking rooms, where you can rent a room and find someone to babysit?  That way the kids are closeby and parents can check in if they want.   I am also having an “adult only reception”, and I really don’t care if I look mean or like a kid-hater.  It’s your wedding.  If someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to come!  You’ve done plenty by providing babysitting information.  This is not a new concept whatsoever, so people should not be that shocked.  Good luck! :/

Post # 7
Member
46324 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your perogative. It is ridiculous that some parents think they are entitled to take their children to social occasions to which they are not invited.

Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “I’m sorry, we are not able to accomodate any additional guests. “

Post # 8
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s totally your perogative! Parents should see it as a night off and not an offense!

Post # 10
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

not rude. it is totally your prorogative. im not having kids at my wedding, people had complain allready, but bride and grom decide over everything. NO KIDS is fine.

 

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Not rude at all. It is your prerogative. I understand that the proper thing to do is to call guests with children after the invitations go out to make sure they got the invitation and to provide via phone the essential information of professional childcare nearby, etc. This is also great because it heads problems off at the pass, confronts the issue right away so questions aren’t swarming at you when you don’t have the time to deal with them. Set aside a day for these calls and be done with it. If they agree to the information you’ve been so courtesy to provide, or if they say they’ll leave the kids home with a sitter, great! They are honoring your request. If they protest and say, “So you mean I can’t bring my kid?” you calmly say, “Yes, that is the case due to what we can afford and what the venue can accommodate.” If they get huffy and say, “Well, I guess we can’t make it then…” they are being rude, implying and attempting to manipulate the situation so you bend for them and only them. Sorry, but they are not above your request. Stick to your guns and reply with, “That’s a shame. my fiancé and I will miss you. We’ll mark our guest list as such. Thanks for letting me know and have a good day.” Then, listen for their mouth to drop on the other end of the line because you didn’t fall for their passive-aggressive expectation. 😉 Stay firm and polite, and congratulations to you!

Post # 12
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Your Perogative… We’re not having ANY children and yes ALOT of people have complained but we just didn’t want to or couldn’t do it.

We are however setting up childcare & putting $ aside for happy meals in our day of budget for those that just can’t seem to listen lol

Post # 13
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Not rude!

Post # 14
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your perogative.  And mine too!  We have a very short guest list (75 guests) and we are paying per plate.  If we started adding 2, 3, or 4 kids PER COUPLE, it would make our guest list huge!  And I’ve NEVER wanted a big wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

You do what you want! You shouldn’t feel like you have to invite any kids. And to be honest, I am a kid hater. Baha! No really… I don’t like kids. So the only kids at my wedding are nieces/nephews.

Post # 16
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s completely reasonable to not invite children, personally I think it’s rude of guests to asks to bring additional people! We’re also not inviting children because of our limited budget and smaller venue. I think the idea of renting a baby sitter for children at a local hotel is fantastic. Maybe you could rent out two seperate rooms, one for the small children and a couple of babysitters, and one next door for the older cousins (so they have their “space” but someone nearby to check on them). Good luck!

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