Post # 1
So my fiancee and I, who don’t have kids are planning our wedding in Oct 2012. We are pretty much doing a Destination Wedding because we just moved to a new city and state about 1500 miles away from both our family and friends 8 months ago. So 85% of all the guest will be from Out of Town. We said kids are allowed at the ceremony only but not the reception. Keep in mind both the ceremony and rpeiton is at the same hotel that most Out of Town guest will be staying. Anyway, so all of our friends with kids are fine with this but my side of the family is not getting it. I have 1 nephew and he is only 3 years old and my family thinks I should make an exception to our no kid policy. I tried to explain to them its not fair to make an exception on one side and not the other. Also, his 3, he barely sits still. Now, I haven’t spoking to both my sister and father since this exception. I am not stressing but I just needed to vent because no one but my Fiance and I are paying for this wedding so it’s our day. Also, for kids to eat chicken fingers and fries is $25per child, we are not even having kids in the wedding party.
Post # 3
We are going through this same thing, we haven’t sent any invitations out yet but I foresee drama ahead. Our venue is not cheap, and a children’s meal of chicken fingers and fries is $80! There’s no bloody way I’m paying that especially since I don’t believe a wedding reception with an open bar is any place for a child.
I think the only thing you can do is stick to your guns on this one and it’ll all work out.
Post # 4
The only exception we’re making is for our flower girl, and we were up front with her parents that there will be no other kids at the reception and that it’s a night wedding, so it’ll be late.
Post # 5
I’m having kids at my wedding so I’m not much help here. But, I would say to stick to your guns about not making an exception for that 3 year old. I’d be a little annoyed if I just spent $$ for a babysitter then show up and see other kids there.
Post # 6
Thanks ladies, I plan on sticking to my guns. $25 a kid was discounted by the venue because I told them no kids was allowed. It’s really $35 per kid but I said no way and then she said, if you have a few then we will discount to $25 just in case. We already paying $70 per adult. However, $80 a child misssawyer is crazy. Tell the guest NO KIDS ALLOWED and then vent about their response on the board, lol.
Post # 7
we only had the ring bearer and flower girl. No kids allowed. and it was AWESOME
Post # 8
The only kids coming to our wedding/reception, are the kids that are in the wedding party that are mine!
Post # 9
We are not having kids. I want our friends and family to have a fun night without the kids so that they can relax and have enjoy the party without having to be “mom” or “dad” and miss out on part of the night when junior has a meltdown. Adding kids would also add another 30+ people to our count!
If our budget allows we will hire babysitters and offer the out of towners free babysitting for the night at my sister’s house (she lives close to our venue). I have one friend that will have a problem with this, but so far everyone else is ok with not bringing their kids.
Post # 10
We are, but the kids plates are only $12.95.
You might consider whether not talking to your sister/father is worth it – it might just be worth it to pay the $25 to ensure that you have a smooth wedding day.
Post # 11
If you’re not even having kids in the wedding party, then I don’t think you should make exceptions for anyone. I’m doing the same thing and am happy with my decision. It’s cutting our costs significantly.
Post # 12
We are not having kids at our wedding. I have talked to several people and they do not have a problem with it. I have not sent out the invitations yet. I’m still trying to figure out how to word the invitation. I heard it was rude to say no kids on the invite? Anyways, there will be one kid at the wedding. My brother who will be 13 is the ringbearer.
I think you should just stick to your guns because if you let one person’s kid go then it’s going to be really hard to tell other people no.
Post # 13
@desertgirl: We are going to leave it off the invite and we put it up on our website. I am going to names on the RSVP cards as to who is invited.
Post # 14
Honestly, if you’re having a wedding that most of your guests have to travel to, I think you need to allow their children to attend as well. Personally, if I had to travel to a wedding and was told I couldn’t bring my children, I wouldn’t attend the wedding. What do you expect people to do with their children? I know you said the ceremony and reception are in the same hotel but how does that make it better? Are parents supposed to switch off with one being upstairs with the children whilst the other is at the wedding? I don’t get it.
Sorry, we were in a similar situation with our wedding – about 90% of our guests had to travel from out of town and we welcomed all of the children. We had about 30 kids under the age of 16 there and it was wonderful! They were all beautifully behaved and everyone had so much fun dancing with the kids/watching them enjoy themselves.
ETA: Of course you can do whatever you would like, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you got a higher number of declines than you may have received had you allowed children. It’s just not that easy for people to find someone to watch their child overnight or for an entire weekend.
Post # 15
We’re inviting kids, but I think it’s fine to stick to you guns and say that there are no exceptions if you make the rule.
I guess the only thing that confuses me a little bit is why you would invite them to the ceremony, but not the reception. Little kids aren’t great at knowing when to be quiet (at least the ones I know…), so if they’re not going to be invited to the “fun” part, I’m not sure why you’d invite them to the “boring” (from their point of view!) part. Either way the parents are going to have to arrange for a sitter…it’s just a matter of finding one in their home town or finding someone to watch them at the hotel. I think if we had a “no kids” policy, we’d refrain from having them at all.
Post # 16
Good luck! We said no kids and SIL is basically bringing hers anyway. Now I forsee a bunch of my cousins being offended when they see the kids there. It should be just lovely. *voice dripping in sarcasm*