(Closed) no kids allowed wedding blues..thanks for reading!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Unfortunately, this can of worms was opened when budget was mentioned. The rule is to just say the children cannot be accommodated and to never give a reason, just to keep insisting that it’s not possible. But… now here you are. I am so sorry. This really sucks. I think you have to call your cousins and tell them that you and your Fiance and your families had to make a lot of difficult decisions and there are a number of reasons children are not being invited and that you understand they want to bring their kids and you wish it were possible but it’s just not. Remind them that planning a wedding is not simple and that the decisions are not made without lots of care and consideration. I’m really sorry you have to go through this.

Post # 4
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh, wedding drama, kids and family.  A lot of bees have been through this.  I would not call them.  They are just going to have to understand that the world does not revolve around their kids and there are times in life that they just can’t go.  If they chose not to come because they can’t bring their kids then that is their loss, because those that chose to celebrate with you will be having a great time while they are sitting at home.

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I want to add that a lot of why I think you should call is that your wedding is so far away. If we were talking about next month, I’d probably tell you that they just ahve to deal, but you don’t want this drama hanging over your family for the next 8 months. I’d give it one try and see if it helps and if it doesn’t, at least you tried.

Post # 6
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@allisonh:  If I was in your shoes, I would just end up not inviting the cousins, at all. They could have just politely declined or angrily declined. Instead they are trying to force you to plan the wedding they want by offering money. And they are saying nasty things about you. To me, that would be enough to kick them and the kids off the guest list (and probably out of your life). But that’s me!

Post # 7
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

With all of the similar posts like this one, I wouldn’t even consider not inviting children because everyone just seems to get super pissed off. If you really don’t want them to come say NO!!!! and go bridezilla yelling at them and they’ll leave you alone and just talk about you behind your back. That’s basically the best option at this point.

 

Post # 10
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just send around an email explaining that you won’t be able to accommodate children on one side of the family and not the other.  Be sure to add that you hope to see them there, but you understand if they can’t make it.  Then the ball is back in their cour to suck it up or decline the invitation.

Post # 14
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

This all started cause my aunt said that she could pay for my younger cousins to come and told the family and did not consult me!

that was wrong of her, obviously. cant you say its not a money issue, your mum got it wrong, its a case of parents/adults having a day without worrying about their, or others’ children running about?

i know what its like to be in this situation, but the reality is that *most* people (ones that I know anyway) would prefer to attend a wedding that didnt centre around keeping kids occupied. its YOUR day, you get to give the final say, no reasons need be given, but also, you may upset a few people along the way. you have to decide whether you are happy doing this if it means keeping your day child-free.

good luck!

Post # 15
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Simply put in an email or message

“I apologize for any confusion there may be regarding our wedding. Fiance and I have decided to host an adult only wedding and reception so that everyone can relax and enjoy the day without worrying about little ones. While we know that it can create issues for some in the family, we hope you can still attend. Unfortunately we cannot accomidate children from one side of the family and not the other so we have made the decison to ask that all children stay at home. If you have any questions, please contact me, not my mother, as she is not the one planning the wedding, I am. Sincerely, allisonh”

I had to fight this fight with a particular Aunt for MONTHS but she finally got it, and sadly declined coming. She will be missed but we refused to give in

The topic ‘no kids allowed wedding blues..thanks for reading!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors