(Closed) “No kids” and heading it off at the pass

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am having this issue as well, with cousins RSVP’ing their children for our adults only reception. Since you aren’t positive if she is bringing her child, why not find a reason to call her and then say something like “I’m so glad you and your husband can make it, it’s great he got time off of work!” and see what she says? Good luck!

Post # 4
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You could call her and say that you’re working on seating cards and need all the correct guest names, and just wanted to make sure that the second guest is her husband.  It’s plausible and doesn’t sound like you’re fishing for info, and you can guage her reaction and go from there.

Post # 5
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Why not call her and say how happy you are that her husband can come.  Then, tell her that you have offered to find babysitting services for some of your other guests with children and were wondering whether she would like to be included in that or if she has already made other arrangements.  Even if the subtext is clear, how can she complain that you tried to help her find a babysitter?

Post # 6
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I completely agree with PlaidBride.  We are in the exact same boat.  our guest list would have jumped by….ready??… 75.  That’s right 75 kids.  So we are including children the same way – sibling’s children, but no others.  Our exception is children IN the wedding.  We’re offering a list of babysitters to any interested guests and having an area roped off for the ones we know we can’t avoid.  We’ll be sure to have a TV/DVD Player, game system, and a few activities with a paid “sitter”.

You’re doing everything you can and some people still won’t “get” it.


Post # 8
165 posts
Blushing bee

Ideally your FI’s parents would get the no kids word out in general conversation with their brothers and sisters which would hopefully trickle down to your FI’s cousin.  Since you’re just talking about one kid maybe showing up uninvited, I think you have to let it go.  Put the husband’s name on the 2nd place card and hopefully it will clue her in to her bad behavior if the child is the second guest.  You’ve gone so far as to put it on your website so if one kid shows up that isn’t a niece or nephew…I think most people would make the assumption that your FI’s cousin doesn’t know how to follow directions, not that she is being granted special treatment.

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