(Closed) No kids at wedding= no cousin at wedding…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think you need to decide on children or no children, especially if you think making an exception would upset your FH. 

You don’t need to justify not having children at your wedding. You can simply tell people, “I’m sorry but we are unable to accomodate little Chelsea. We hope that you are still able to celebrate this day with us.” Some people won’t be able to find childcare, and that’s okay.


Post # 18
7635 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@StarIzInkd:  Is the Bridesmaid or Best Man cousin a sister of the interstate mommy cousin? If so she’s probably being a bit irrational, wanting to see her niece, whom she adores (understandably); forgetting that the niece is not so close to you or most other guests.

Explain to the Bridesmaid or Best Man cousin that if you invite this child, you’ve got to invite 20 others. (I would leave out the “children underfoot” argument – a well supervised toddler isn’t a problem).

Post # 19
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@StarIzInkd:  I agree with standing your ground then have another stressor to deal with. You want to be relaxed on your big day 🙂

We aren’t having any children at ours either, except for one. He will be about 9 or 10 by the time our wedding is here and Fiance wants him there because he likes him a lot, so I’m fine with that. If any of my guests decide to stay home because they can’t bring their kids, then it might be a little sad but I can’t make exceptions for some people and keep the rule for others.

Post # 21
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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@StarIzInkd:  Why can’t your cousin leave her almost two year old for two days? real quick trip? the “baby” could stay with someone she trusts back home.

Post # 23
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

2 years old is old enough to leave with a trusted sitter for a few hours. I would have no problem with a nursing infant coming to reception, but a 2 year old is a different story. 

Post # 24
557 posts
Busy bee

If she isn’t willing to leave her 2 year old with a friend of your moms/someone very trustworthy who isn’t invited to the wedding, then I guess she doesn’t get to go. That is part of having kids.


Stand your ground.

Post # 26
1219 posts
Bumble bee

You should have stood your ground.  Everyone threatens that they won’t come or can’t find a sitter or they will be mad at you 4eva.  If you don’t give in, they will figure out a way to make it work. My daughter’s SIL said she would absolutely not come if she couldn’t bring her five kids. Sorry you can’t make it, we sure will miss you.  She was there.  Its a threat to get their way to be able to do what they want at your wedding, not what you want.  My daughter and her groom were in total agreement and are not hard asses that hate kids or anything.  Just a very limited amount of space.


Post # 28
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@StarIzInkd:  I’m so sorry. I would have done what you did too, and just folded to make everyone else happy. Not saying it’s right. In fact, that is the ONLY thing I knew I wanted 100% for my wedding — no kids. I have been vetoed, and it sucks. Some of our friends have babies, and while I know they would have the sense to take a screaming child out of a ceremony, my family does not — and I’ve been told I cannot allow some kids and not others. My family cannot stop PROCREATING ALL THE TIME and their kids aren’t even a little bit well behaved. So, basically my wedding is going to feel like a McDonald’s playplace or something.

I’m sorry to hear you’re being made to do something you don’t want to do. That sucks OP, I wish I had something helpful. :/

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