(Closed) No Kids at wedding?!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

maybe just allow the bridal party kids and then those 15+??? if theres not too many kids maybe just have them, in all the weddings ive been to, its the kids that get everyone on the dancefloor ive noticed the weddings with no kids = empty dance floor.

myself though, we had a destinationwedding of just 11 people and none had kids anyway.

hope that helps

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We are having kids, but the guest list is small, and the only one with kids is my cousin, who is in the WP and she has three, two of which are flower girls. ( the youngest, her son, won’t even be 2 when the wedding rolls around).  So, basically, unless things change, we will be having them.  Like the PP said, have a cutoff: over 12 or 15.

Post # 5
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are only alllowing our nieces and nephews. No other kids. 


So some invitations said ‘and family’ and some said ‘mr and mrs’

Post # 6
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

we didn’t invite any kids, cept for my own and the ones that are playing apart in the wedding….so 4, well some people don’t get the concept of not having kids there, so now we have a total of 14…grrrr… but instead of causing any further drama, we just let it be.  the wording on the invite was NOT to the “family”, but some people jsut don’t get it, so they feel it includes their 3 year old that we have never ever met…but there are worse things that could happen, so we jsut went with it, now had the number been higher, and our caterer not give us 1/2 price for their meals, then I am sure I would have straightened it out…but at the end of the day, it will be fine,  i did ask that all the little ones be gone after dinner as I don’t feel it’s a place for kids after the party gets rolling…

Post # 7
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

No kids allowed will be on our invites…but people will still bring them. My cousins/FIs cousins are obviously expected to be there…no matter the age. What annoys me is people that are friends of the family that bring their kids

Post # 8
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@aemartin2013:  I had no kids, at all. I invited the people I wanted to invite, and generally those were the parents. The one exception to the rule is my bridesmaid’s son, and that’s because she’s a single mom and it’s nearly impossible for her to find someone to take him all day and overnight. He’s also 12 (almost 13) and extremely responsible and mature, so I’m not worried. I also made exception to FI’s cousin’s from Ottawa. Being that they are driving 8 hours, I felt they would want to bring their toddler, since who would take a toddler for that long when they don’ thave family there? Anyways, they couldn’t come because of holiday issues, so that solved it anyways.

Were other people annoyed? Likely. Did I care? Not particularly. That might sound bitchy, but FI and I chose who was going to be there, and many times it did not include children.

Post # 9
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If we allowed all of his cousins (giant Italian/Irish family) we would nearly double the guest count!!! So, we made the cut off age for the reception 21+. The kids ARE invited to the ceremony though, and the older ones will drive the younger cousins back to the nearest house for a pizza party/sleepover.

Post # 10
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The youngest person we are allowing is 16, and I’m not even sure if she will be coming.  She’s my best friend’s little sister whom I love dearly.  Otherwise everyone is 21+

Post # 11
2282 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had an age limit of 12. In the end, my cousin left her 12 year old with her MIL, and so the only people under drinking age were my 13 year old and 18 year old nephews.

I did, however, offer babysitting for infants, which made it possible for two college friends to attend (new babies and too young to leave with grandparents for a weekend). 

Off the top of my head, I think we had 2 or 3 couples decline our invitation because we weren’t going to allow their younger kids (6 or so). We missed the friends, but we sure as hell didn’t miss the 6 year olds. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, but I do not love kids at a cocktail party. 

Post # 13
23 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

We also agreed to “no kids” at the wedding and made no exceptions.  The flower girl and ring bearer are going to go home after the ceremony and not participate in the reception.  I did not request this, but my friend wanted her kids “in the wedding’ even if it meant they had to leave and not attend the reception.

I attended three weddings this summer. Only 1 had kids, and it was the children of the couple only.

Post # 14
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re not inviting ANY children whatsoever.  The youngest person at the wedding will be FI’s brother who is a groomsmen and is 17 years old.   FI’s cousin’s young children aren’t even invited.  We’re not having a flower girl or ring bearer either.  So far we haven’t heard any issues yet about children of guests.  We’ll see once we give out the invites to our coworkers.  A lot of them have young children.  I don’t really think it’ll be a problem with them.  ::crosses fingers::

Post # 15
28 posts
  • Wedding: August 2004

I’m pretty sure that once we send out invites it’s going to be a lot of people that’s going to have issues with kid’s not being invited. Actually when I mentioned this to one of my cousins(whose supposed to be in the bridal party) she suggested that we pay for more people or only invite her children because she can’t find a babysitter. We are only having 150 people because that’s what our budget allowed. I told her that if she can’t find a babysitter with 18 months advanced notice then I guess her invitations will be mailed elsewhere. Not trying to be bitchy but the nerve of her to suggest we pay for more guest.

Post # 16
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

We aren’t having kids. We also got lucky in that our youngest cousins on all sides are 14+ , so that was easy because it looks less like an age cutoff and more like a relationship cutoff. Really, though, our standard was something along the lines of, we want people who will act like adults and we want any misbehavior to be adult shenanigans, not kid shenanigans. 🙂 My mom also offered to pay for a nanny service for out of town guests to leave their kids at the hotel with supervision, so that will hopefully make it easier on people. (although it may mean people we had kind of expected wouldn’t be able to come will actually show up… ouch budget but it’ll be good to see them lol) Frankly if my mom hadn’t offered to do the nanny thing we would not have–I am not planning it, not making a list, and definitely not paying for it. The way I see it, people chose to have kids. I didn’t choose for them to have kids, and therefore I can choose whether or not to hang out with their kids. Sometimes I choose to do so, but a nightime wedding with drinking, dancing, etc is not going to be fun for anyone young and I choose not to have kids there. I’m sure we’ll have people whining that they can’t bring their kids anyway, they don’t know the babysitters, local people who would rather use the free babysitters than pay for one, etc etc. My feeling is eff them. We invited the people we want to see, and if they’d rather spend the night with their kids, well, we’ll be having more fun than they will that night. Their loss more than ours. (Sorry for the rant, but if you can’t tell we’ve already gotten some pushback and we haven’t even officially sent save the dates.)

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