(Closed) No Kids, but my sister is creating drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

The best thing you can do when dealing with a person who will always find things to complain about is to stop sharing details with her. She can tell her kids herself, and if they bring it up to you just be honest theat there isn’t enough room/it is an adults only event.

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Stand your ground, and if it comes down to it, you may have to tell your nieces. I think your sister is being immature, and if you think she will be this way throughout planning, don’t tell her any details. Simple as that. Trust me, you are going to get flack for pretty much anything you do, get used to it! :p

Post # 5
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Kristin2013:  Your sister is being a brat. Have you spoken to your mother about this? Keep reminding your sister about the rules and how they apply to everyone. Also, remind her there will be a hostess at the wedding that will not no qualms telling her to take her daughters home.

 

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

although i believe you have the right to invite whoever you want i also feel that these arent just guest children, they are your niece and nephew and do you want to compromise with her on this?

i can understand not wanting to invite 50 kids from various friends and families but i couldnt imagine my nephews/niece not being welcomed

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

i’m also kind of surprised that you wouldnt want to make an exception for your neices, but if i were them at that age, i probably wouldnt have much fun at a night wedding where everyone else there is an adult. maybe you could point that out to your sister? even if she brought them along, they wouldnt really be participating or having a good time. i was dragged to adult get-togethers all my childhood because of my dad’s job. honestly, they were nothing but boring, so i dont understand why your sister would be so gung-ho about it. between this, the budget, and the alcohol, saying no to kids is perfectly reasonable.

Post # 9
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, though we will be having children at our wedding, I totally understand your feeling to not invite ANY children.

It’s not fair for your sister to put you in the situation of having to tell your nieces, but you may have too if she keeps this up.  

Post # 10
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Since you told your sister beforehand, she’s way out of line. See if you can get your parents on board. We had MAJOR family drama over my 5-year old nephew not being invited (no kids are), it and helped that my parents fully supported our decision.

I agree that evening weddings really aren’t appropriate for kids- my nephew’s bed time is right when dinner was going to be served.

She *should* tell the kids, but she might not- unfortunately, you may have to break it to the girls that this is an adults only event. 

You might want to remind your sister that if the girls “just show up,” there won’t be food or seats for them. You’re probably going to get flack from other family members, but hold your ground- your day, your way. The kids will survive. 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Kristin2013:   I’m sorry; I can understand your reasoning and agree with your IP, and just want you to know you’re not alone there.  I went through a similiar situation, which was also very tough for me.

In the end I gave in and FI’s family and I are still working to mend the hurt feelings all around.  We’re inviting his neices/nephews (8 plus their babysitters) and my direct cousins (6) and that’s it for kids.

If you can get your parents on board, I’d say that’d help a ton.  And maybe you should be the one to tell your neices/nephews so you can relay the message how you want (0therwise who knows what your sis will say to them).  Maybe you can plan something special with just all the kids one afternoon (potluck or something)…a party just for them and you guys to celebrate your marriage?

Post # 12
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We didn’t want any children at ours, I have compromised and agreed to my niece being flower girl but that she has to be picked up by 7pm (she’s actually my cousins daughter, but calls me aunty), and everyone is fine with that, we will also have 2 newborm babies there, we have added a bit in our invites explaining that due to a restriction on numbers we are unable to invite children but there will however be two nursing mothers there plus my FlowerGirl… shortened version obviously lol

 

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