Post # 1
So, the other post about no kids weddings got me thinking about this, but I didn’t want to thread-jack…
For all of you having “no kids” weddings, are you also not having a flower girl or ring bearer? I would prefer to have no kids at the reception because I just have this fear of the photobooth being wrecked and all of the candy jars and centerpieces and being thrown to the ground when a two year old has a temper tantrum. However, I’m having a flower girl and two ring bearers who will all be under four. Is it fair to tell all of the other guests that they can’t bring their kids but then allow the three in the wedding to be running around? Yes, I realize it’s my wedding and that I can do what I want but I would rather not have anyone miffed at me when they see kids there but weren’t allowed to bring their own.
Post # 3
Honestly people expect the children in the wedding party to come to the reception. Many times they leave after the cake, especially if it is late at night. In the 89 weddings I have attended no one has ever been mad that the flower girl got to come but their kid didn’t. Well one but the cops had to remove her anyway. She is a schizoprehenic who was off her meds. I think you are fine to invite them.
Post # 4
I’m not having flower girls, a ring bearer, or page boys. We have a fairly strict no children policy and the only children invited are my cousin, who will be 12 at the time, and whose parents are travelling a very long way, and my OHs cousins, who will be 10 and 16, who are wonderfully well-behaved, and who we see a lot of and wouldn’t dream of excluding.
We don’t know any other children, which is the main reason why we’re not inviting any; we’re friends with adults, not kids, and even the handul of people we know with children, like close work colleagues, we’ve never actually met the children, so I don’t get why we’d invite them just because they’re related. We have a really tight limit on numbers, so we’ve invited people who really matter, and who we really want to be there.
I think it’s fine to invite some children and not others, and in all honesty, people who would be offended by that are people I wouldn’t really be friends with in the first place. If they cannot understand that not everyone loves children, and that people do have such things as financial and space constraints and cannot just invite everyone, then would you really want them there? I don’t have children, but if I did, I would never expect them to be invited to anything, they would not be surgically attached to me and there are such things as baby-sitters, and people have the right to exclude children if they wish.
Post # 5
The only kids at our wedding are the ones in the wedding party but they are being picked up after dinner so I’m hoping its not a problem 🙂
Post # 6
People expect even Adult Only weddings may have children in the wedding party. I’m having my petite asian friend as a flower girl. She will either also have the rings in her basket, or else my best friend (male) will carry them up the aisle. Kind of ironic since he ardently refuses to wear jewelry. I’ve always wanted to walk down the aisle on flower petals and my female friend has always wanted to be a flower girl. She is going to coat that carpet in petals.
As for your situation, I doubt anyone will bat and eyelash. I also like the idea of the children not attending the reception… they get restless/tired/bratty anyway. If rude people ask why their little darling wasn’t invited, simply say that you wanted flowergirls and ringbearers or whatever.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone! I’m going address the invites to the adults and hope they don’t bring the entire family. Honestly, if I actually know the kids it won’t even be that big of a deal. My mom has added a few of her friends to the invite list. If they RSVP that they’re bringing the kids then I’m letting her handle that!
Post # 8
I would suggest making it clear on the invite if you haven’t yet sent them out; a lot of people do assume that children are invited even when only adults are mentioned on the invite, and you could end up putting yourself in an awkward position. We’ll be putting something like ‘Due to number constraints, children are only invited if mentioned on the invitation’ (or words to that effect). We also plan to have a word with people with children before we send the invites out so that they’re aware beorehand and we can explain the reasons why if they ask.
Post # 9
we’re having “limited kids”. We didn’t invite any kids specifically, but FI’s nephews are coming (because Future Sister-In-Law is insisting on bringing them….I don’t know why)…and a friend of our’s is bringing their infant because they’re traveling from out of town, which is fine.
Other than that, we’re not having a flower girl or ring bearer.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2011 - St Aloysius' College, Milson's Point
We had a no kid wedding, and we didnt have a flower girl/page boy. I dont have kids though so im not sure how others would feel but I think it is more than appropriate to have the kids that are in the wedding at the reception and not other kids.
Post # 11
We had no kids at the wedding at all. No ring bearer, no flower girl, no kids. The youngest attendee was DH’s cousin who was 22.
Since it was a destination wedding, that sadly meant some people were unable to come. We tried to work with those who had kids and offered to help find them child care, etc. But school had also just restarted so it was harder for them to get away.
Post # 12
We are having a no kid reception, but we will be having a flower girl and ring bearer, they will be at the reception but not the whole time…my son is actually the ring bearer =) hes very excited..he will be going with his dad after about an hr or 2 at the reception, im not a fan of him being around people who are drinking but i want him to be able to be apart of it all with us
Post # 13
We’re having a completely child-free wedding, so no flower girl or ring bearer. My fiance’s family isn’t thrilled with it, but that’s too bad.