(Closed) No kids. Experiences and advice needed

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think people need to respect what you want and what you’re paying for. Stick to your decision. 

Post # 5
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I think it is really rude for people to get all up in arms about yours and your FH’s decision. It is your special day, not theirs, and you are the one who has to stick to the budget. I think it is wise that you’ve made it a “no kids” wedding, as I’ve been to and heard of weddings where there have been children and the adults have been really drunk, acting a bit innapropriate in front of the children etc. Someone I know had a “no kids” wedding and her cousin got REALLY angry at her (he has two young children) and ended up not talking to her for over a year. It was really sad and unneccesary. I think it might be a good idea to have a blatant and blunt talk to them, and tell them that it is what you both want, give the reasons (not a child friendly environment etc.) and tell them that the matter is now closed for discussion and that you would like their respect and understandingv regarding the matter Smile You could even send out a letter stating that there will be no children allowed and the reasons why. 

Good luck! 

Post # 6
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How nervy of people to question your choice to not have kids. We did not have kids, other than our nieces and nephews, and not only did no one question it, but many commented that they wouldn’t have brought their kids regardless- they wanted adult time. I can’t even think of a wedding that I’ve been to where there were kids- unless they were nieces and nephews, or in the wedding party.

If anyone else comments, I wouldn’t say anymore other than, “We want an adult only wedding.” There is no reason to give anybody anymore of an excuse than that!

Post # 7
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just hang in there and don’t give in. I’ve had the same problem and my wedding is still two years away! People ask about it and question me all the time. “Don’t you like kids?” Not really. “I’m sure little Timmy will look great in your wedding!” No, he won’t because he’s a brat and he’s not invited. “Won’t you have a flower girl/ring bearer?” Yep. FH’s neice and nephew will be doing that but they will be 6 and 12 at that time and they’re extremely well behaved.

If people can’t respect your wishes for your wedding, then too bad for them. At least that’s the way I look at it.

ETA: Just tell them that you and FH have decided on an adult only wedding and leave it at that. You don’t have to explain the choices you made for your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Id just keep saying it isnt a kid friendly wedding, no sit down dinner and its late. It should be self explanitory

Post # 10
Member
3691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Why don’t people get that if they don’t want to go someplace where their kid isn’t welcome, they should just stay home???

Post # 11
Member
7760 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fiance’s family = fiance’s problem.

When the rude comments come from his side of the family, he should answer. He knows them better, so he should deal with them.

Post # 12
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Our wedding was a no kids wedding as well but it was also a destiny wedding.  Our families were disappointed but they understood.  I just don’t get how ppl can be rude and a quesion your decision.  No explantation is needed, just stick to your guns and don’t let them wear you down.

Post # 13
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I also sent out my Save-The-Date Cards not long ago and some of my family has been rsvp’ing me already and including their children’s name in the text. I kindly responded that we weren’t having children at the wedding and that I hope they could respect our decision. The Save-The-Date Cards were addressed to only the invited people not “so and so FAMILY”…one cousin wanted reasons as to why…I couldn’t say “because at both yours and your sister in laws weddings there were children running around screaming during the ceremony and that is definitely not happening at mine” I gave her a kind response and said that it’s out of our budget to invite whole famillies and we want everyone to have a care free evening. So i got a bunch of replies all from one family on my side saying they wouldn’t be able to come because no kids allowed….you have 7 months to find a solution if you really wanted to attend…too bad for you!

Post # 14
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@emilyrose114:  I’m in the same situation, my Future Mother-In-Law wants kids at the wedding, but we don’t.  I personally don’t feel that a late evening wedding with an open bar is appropriate for kids.  My reasoning is that I don’t want children seeing adults over consume alcohol, which I know will happen (guests from out of town and not driving, plus heavy drinkers).  When I explain it this way, people seem to get the point.  The age cutoff for our wedding is 18; basically if the guest is too young to get into a bar in their hometown, they’re too young to be at our wedding (we have guests from Alberta, Canada). 

Post # 15
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When people asked me about mine – I simply said that the venue itself wasn’t kid friendly and I worried for their safety after dark. It was kind of true (there was a big pond and acres upon acres of orchard) and the perfect excuse for people to leave the kids at home.

As you are having an evening wedding – I really don’t think that it’s appropriate for children to go anyway…like others have said, this is YOUR wedding and you and your Fiance need to stick to your guns. Smile and nod…smile and nod.

Post # 16
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m not having kids at my wedding. I’m not inviting any of my cousins with young children (extended family is WAY to damn large!). The only other people coming who have young children are my one close aunt and uncle, and one of my bridesmaids, at least that I can think of. Aunt is likely to throw a little hissy fit about it but has no reason to, as her side of the family also lives in town and isn’t invited. Bridesmaid thought that it was a good idea and agreed that even if her kid was invited, she wouldn’t bring her. Too much hassle. 

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