Post # 1
I’ve posted about this before, but I need to do it again. I’m about at the end of my rope. My Fiance and I have been communicating loud and clear that there will not be any kids at any wedding events. My family is fine with it, but his just won’t let it go.
I’m not exagerating when I say I deal with this every 4 days.
No kids. Not even his niece and nephew (9 mo and 4 1/2 yrs). There are a few reasons:
– The venue only holds 150 and we’re absolutely maxed out
– We’re not in a “kids” stage of our lives and don’t even particularly like them right now
– It’s an evening wedding (7 p.m.)
– We have an open bar, live band and no sit-down dinner (not conducive to kids)
The bottom line is we’re paying and it’s our day.
His sister won’t drop it. She calls/e-mails/texts me on a regular basis. First about the wedding; then I had my Fiance call her and tell her no. It came up again and again, so he called her another time.
Now she’s on the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner. She just said she won’t be making it to the bachelorette party because the money she had budgeted for that will need to be used for a sitter during the shower.
Here’s the deal: she’s married! AND she’s from the area, so she’s not traveling. She also has friends! ALSO she had a non-traditional wedding too! (black dress, 12 people, 3 days notice on NYE)
Ugh I just can’t handle it anymore. I want to call her and chew her out and tell her I don’t want her in the bridal party any more.
Post # 3
LOL Just tell her that you’re sorry she can’t make it and leave it at that.
Post # 4
Depending on where you live, sitters can run $15+ an hour for two children. So, for a wedding, you’re talking about quite a bit of money. If they’re on a tight budget, her comment about needing to budget for a sitter may not be a stretch.
If she brings up the no kids situation, just ignore her and change the subject. As long as you engage with her, she’ll think there’s a chance you’ll just get frustrated and say “Ugh, fine, bring them!” Don’t cave. Don’t engage. She brings it up, just say “You know children aren’t allowed at the wedding. Did you guys end up going to that new restaurant this weekend?”
Post # 5
Sounds like someone is looking for attention! I’m with @vorpalette:, tell her you’re very sorry she won’t be able to make it.
Not allowing kids at a wedding is super common nowadays!
Post # 6
Is there a reason you dont want your nephews at the rehearsal dinner? I think it would be nice to let them go to that so the family can see them, since they are not going to be at the wedding.
At my wedding we did not invite children aside from my neices & nephews.
Post # 7
Also, can her husband not watch the kids while she’s at the shower? Why does she need a babysitter for that?
Post # 8
@stuckinwonderland: The babysitting thing could be true. I charge $10/hr $5 for an extra kid and $5 if they are diapers. 🙂 So could easily be $20 an hr. that could be like $60 for just 3 hrs. that’s pretty hefty.
I would be in the same boat as you OP, I’d want to call her and tell her off lol. But, you’re obviously classier than her so don’t sweat it!
Post # 9
@MrsTVLover: Because he’s terribly behaved picky eater, tantrum thrower) and FI’s niece is teething and screams ALL.THE.TIME.
Post # 10
@vorpalette: She said he has to work, but he works at a bank and is always done by noon… the shower starts at 1. I have no idea why he can’t
Post # 11
Yeesh, that would drive me insane. I’m sure it would feel good to call her out, but doing so would only play into her games. Best to ignore her complaints and stay firm. It’s not like you’re going to change the venue or timing of the wedding to something more kid-friendly anytime soon, so there’s no point in her complaining about it.
Post # 12
@emilyrose114: Ughhhhh. Some people get so full of themselves when they have kids. Sounds to me like she jsut needs the attention.
I’d ignore her.
Post # 13
Well, while I hear what you are saying, I think it would be nice to consider a compromise on the Rehearsal Dinner since this will be your family soon. You have to choose your battles.
Post # 14
@Girasole: That’s fair, but I’m not sure why she needs a sitter for the shower? She didn’t even ask my Fiance (who’s the god father), or her dad (she responded in 10 minutes- so I don’t know how she would have checked with anyone)
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@emilyrose114: Tell her you plan on having alcohol, drugs, and strippers so child services would probably not be happy if any children attended. Oh, and every guest gets a shot of Starbucks expresso and a free puppy.
Serious, some parents are just ridiculous. These are the same people that will probably be divorced in 5-10 years because they focused all of their time and energy on their kids and completely neglected their relationship with their spouse. We have a guy like this in our group; he attends everything alone because his wife can’t bear to spend any non-working hours without her children. He just looks so sad and lost every time we see him.
Post # 16
@MrsTVLover: The Rehearsal Dinner starts at 7 and we won’t be eating until almost 8. His bedtime is 8:30, and a poorly behaved kid near his bedtime is not how I want to start my wedding weekend.
We’re really not bending on any of it because we’re paying.