No-kids wedding; 3 month old

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Personally, I just would decline attending.  I would not go through the effort to try to bring parents to that area just to accommodate someone else’s wedding, and I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable to have a stranger babysit an infant.

Post # 3
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

I probably would send my gift and decline going. My husband and I let a couple friends babysit our daughter once or twice when she was around that age but one of them was a co worker with her own kid and the other one works on base in the medical group and was one of my husband’s friends. So while I may not have known them I had a little bit of trust because my husband did. And we were only gone for 3 or 4 hours. If it had been longer I probably would have begged off. I don’t do randoms. But that might be my unresolved trauma talking. So take it with a grain of salt.

Post # 4
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t have been ok with a stranger watching my 3 month old baby so I’d probably skip the wedding if your parents aren’t able to help. Your friend is entitled to have a kid free wedding if she wants but you’re equally entitled to decline if it doesn’t work for you. 

I had a kid free wedding myself, though we did make exceptions for some close friends/family who wouldn’t have been able to come otherwise. I will say that before I had kids I didn’t really understand what the big deal was with getting a sitter for a night. But now that I’m on the other side I totally get it!

 

Post # 5
Member
8366 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@emfaye:  I would never ask my parents to fly somewhere to babysit so I could go to a wedding. I would just decline the invitation. It’s not a summons and they made it inconvenient for you, so I wouldn’t even feel bad about it. I wouldn’t hold it against them, but they made the decision that works for them, I’d make the decision that works for me. nbd.

Post # 6
Member
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would send my regrets. I wasn’t ready for travel or social events when my kids were 3 months old.

Post # 8
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

At 3 months my baby was still nursing every 2-3 hours day and night and I was so exhausted you couldn’t have paid me to go anywhere, the only energy I had was the occasional grocery trip. Plus if you’re nursing you’ll have to pump. I definitely would not let a stranger look after my baby at that age. That’s just me though

Post # 10
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

My 7 month old will barely take a bottle so leaving her in the evening isn’t an option. I would decline.  My older child did take a bottle but I still wouldn’t have left him with anyone in the evening at 3 months.

Post # 11
Member
12261 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If my parents would come and baby sit, then yes.  Otherwise i don’t see myself leaving my kid so soon, though my son is 2 and still never been left with with anyone other than my family.   

Post # 12
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I had a similar situation- my parents came to the venue and watched her for the ceremony and we left thereafter as they weren’t keen on watching her for longer. Absolutely no way I’d have left her with a stranger at that age. 

Post # 13
Member
1558 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@emfaye:  You mentioned a husband in your previous post: is he not responsible enough to watch the infant? It seems quite extreme to ask your parents to fly in, even under normal circumstances. Personally, I’m not optimistic that that things will be back to normal by the end of spring.

Post # 15
Member
1558 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@emfaye:  So that is an option. Alternatively, you and your husband could trade off watching the infant: for example, you could attend the first half of the wedding and your husband the second half. Under normal circumstances, either or staying home is more reasonable than asking your parents to fly in.

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