Post # 1
(For responses, let’s pretend COVID won’t be an issue, to keep the conversation on track)
I have a good friend getting married this Spring and I will have a 3 month old at the time (FTM). No kids are allowed because they want people to enjoy theirselves and be able to have “multiple cocktails” (ith the exception of immediate family members who can bring kids). We talked about me having a newborn, but it seems like she decided not the accommodate. The website does say she would help people find a local sitter if they “decide to make a weekend” of the wedding.
Wedding is 3 hours from where I live and 2 hours from a major city where bride/groom and most guests live.
My plan is to hope my parents will fly up (about 1-1.5 hour flight) to major city and then I’ll pay for their AirBnb in the wedding location. That way, they can watch the baby. I’m not sure what my parents will say about this plan or if they’ll be willing.
If my parents can’t fly up…what would you do? Get a stranger to babysit for the night in the small town the wedding is in? Is 3 months too young to have a stranger babysit? It seems so young to me! Another friend of mine will have a 4 month old and doesn’t seemed concerned about finding a random person to watch her kid for 6-7 hours, so maybe I’m being too nervous?
Post # 2
Personally, I just would decline attending. I would not go through the effort to try to bring parents to that area just to accommodate someone else’s wedding, and I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable to have a stranger babysit an infant.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
I probably would send my gift and decline going. My husband and I let a couple friends babysit our daughter once or twice when she was around that age but one of them was a co worker with her own kid and the other one works on base in the medical group and was one of my husband’s friends. So while I may not have known them I had a little bit of trust because my husband did. And we were only gone for 3 or 4 hours. If it had been longer I probably would have begged off. I don’t do randoms. But that might be my unresolved trauma talking. So take it with a grain of salt.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t have been ok with a stranger watching my 3 month old baby so I’d probably skip the wedding if your parents aren’t able to help. Your friend is entitled to have a kid free wedding if she wants but you’re equally entitled to decline if it doesn’t work for you.
I had a kid free wedding myself, though we did make exceptions for some close friends/family who wouldn’t have been able to come otherwise. I will say that before I had kids I didn’t really understand what the big deal was with getting a sitter for a night. But now that I’m on the other side I totally get it!
Post # 5
I would never ask my parents to fly somewhere to babysit so I could go to a wedding. I would just decline the invitation. It’s not a summons and they made it inconvenient for you, so I wouldn’t even feel bad about it. I wouldn’t hold it against them, but they made the decision that works for them, I’d make the decision that works for me. nbd.
Post # 6
I would send my regrets. I wasn’t ready for travel or social events when my kids were 3 months old.
Post # 8
At 3 months my baby was still nursing every 2-3 hours day and night and I was so exhausted you couldn’t have paid me to go anywhere, the only energy I had was the occasional grocery trip. Plus if you’re nursing you’ll have to pump. I definitely would not let a stranger look after my baby at that age. That’s just me though
Post # 9
Eh, I’m not so worried about asking. My family is new to grandkids, so I think it’s very possible my parents would be ecstatic to come visit. I’d probably invite them to visit for longer than just the night (few days to a week). They’re not the type of people that would have an issue saying no if it was too much for them and they fly for free so there’s not a money issue.
Post # 10
My 7 month old will barely take a bottle so leaving her in the evening isn’t an option. I would decline. My older child did take a bottle but I still wouldn’t have left him with anyone in the evening at 3 months.
Post # 11
If my parents would come and baby sit, then yes. Otherwise i don’t see myself leaving my kid so soon, though my son is 2 and still never been left with with anyone other than my family.
Post # 12
I had a similar situation- my parents came to the venue and watched her for the ceremony and we left thereafter as they weren’t keen on watching her for longer. Absolutely no way I’d have left her with a stranger at that age.
Post # 13
You mentioned a husband in your previous post: is he not responsible enough to watch the infant? It seems quite extreme to ask your parents to fly in, even under normal circumstances. Personally, I’m not optimistic that that things will be back to normal by the end of spring.
Post # 14
My husband and I would both like to attend the wedding if possible.
Post # 15
So that is an option. Alternatively, you and your husband could trade off watching the infant: for example, you could attend the first half of the wedding and your husband the second half. Under normal circumstances, either or staying home is more reasonable than asking your parents to fly in.