(Closed) No kids when guests are traveling? Help!

posted 10 years ago in Reception
  • poll:

    Pay for babysitting for OOT guests.

    Help parents arrange/coordinate babysitting at/near wedding, but they can pay for their own kids.

    Let parents figure out their own arrangements.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    2865 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Our venue has a downstairs room with a TV where we can have a babysitter. It is the best of both worlds– the kids are with their parents if there are any problems, but there is zero excuse for having bad behavior. All the parents I’ve spoken to are fine with with and it is costing me about $300 (2 babysitters at $150 a pop)

    Post # 18
    Member
    798 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @drumkitt:  Why does someone else HAVE to include your children?  I get that you want to have a child-friendly wedding reception and that’s cool, but why would you be offended if someone else decides not to?  I don’t get THAT mentality.  

    The host of the event gets to decide who to invite.  IMO that’s not about having a “child-free” wedding; that’s about not inviting children.  The only reason that people are forced to resort to saying “child-free” or “adult-only” is because people insist on bringing or RSVPing for uninvited guests.  

    The guest gets to decide whether or not to attend.  I won’t be offended if you decline because you don’t want to leave your kids with a sitter, but I expect the same from you- don’t be offended because I decide that I want to have a party without children.

    And that’s enough of a thread-jack from me.  🙂

    Post # 21
    Member
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    In my experience as a guest, come of parents left their child at home, even when they were coming out of town. I guess they have parents/relatives or friends that didn’t mind taking care of the kids. Maybe you wouldn’t have to pay for it yourself, but see if a group deal can be offered at a facility?

    Post # 22
    Member
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @drumkitt:  Cut the cord?

    If our families lived in town, there would be no way I would have kids at our wedding.  We’re including them because we’d rather them and their parents instead of no parents.  How is it offensive for someone who is shelling out a lot of money for a large party to make the decision that their event is not an appropriate place for children?  We’re playing poker and drinking at my house tonight–no one got offended, they got a sitter because this event that I am throwing is not an appropriate event for kids.  Every event does not have to be kid friendly.  It’s cool that you enjoy children and wanted a wedding full of them but get the stick out of your ass–not everyone wants to hang out with kids all the time and that is ok.

    Post # 23
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We decided to have an adult only wedding for a few reasons. Our venue is not kid friendly, there will be very few kids and it just isn’t something we want. Expect for it to be a very unpopular decision and if it’s important to you, stick to your guns.

    We are providing a sitter to our out of town guests (a co-worker I trust) and had to deal with some hurt feeling from people feeling that we’ve excluded their children personally. My sister has decided not to come to the wedding just because of this.

    What I don’t get is why is not attending the wedding the only other option? Is it out of the question for most people to leave town for a weekend without their kid(s)?

    Post # 24
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Almost Mrs.P:  we are having a out of town wedding (for the grooms side, it is in my hometown), and kids are not invited.  Most people are planning to leave them with other relatives, or if they bring them into town, I can suggest a babysitter.  I don’t think you have any obligation to provide a babysitter or pay for one, but that’s just me!

    Post # 25
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @zomgwut:  I just wouldn’t attend a wedding if I was told my kids weren’t allowed and/or I’d have to leave them with an unknown sitter. The option someone gave where the venue had a room downstairs and they were paying for sitters – I might be okay with that. It isn’t about cutting the cord – it’d be a real pain in my ass to leave my kids behind to travel to an out of town wedding, and I don’t get to see them that much as it is, between work and school schedules. If someone knows me well enough to invite me to their wedding, they know that it’s unlikely I’m EVER going to have a sitter. We don’t have family to help out or the extra money to pay sitters. No, we don’t get date nights…maybe once a year. We don’t have the money for vacations. If I was even able to afford to go to an out of town wedding, that would be a vacation, and hell if I’m going to be asked to leave my kids out of that. I’d love to have a trusted friend or family member keep my kids for me to get a break once in awhile, but a random person I’ve never met in an unfamiliar city? That would hardly feel like a break, and I’d pass. There’s more to my story than I’m willing to post publicly, but I’m very careful for safety reasons who and where I leave my kids.

    My opinion is, if you don’t want kids at the wedding, don’t invite people with kids. End of story.

    Post # 26
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @REP92110:  I replied to another poster above, but in my case, yes. It would be completely out of the question for me to leave my kids for the weekend so that I could go out of town for a wedding or otherwise. I don’t have anyone in my life who would be able to keep my kids for an entire weekend, nor the money to pay someone (and I would have to know someone who could do it in order to pay them anyway). Even if I wanted to attend, I would NOT be able to make that happen under any circumstances.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2468 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @drumkitt:  I don’t agree with your statement about not inviting people with children if you want a child free wedding. There are a lot of my relatives and my FI’s relatives that are using this as an evenning out away from their children. For our out of towners we figured if they had questions about childcare they would ask us. I found out that my FI’s Aunt and Uncle that have two children are using the wedding as a way to incorporate a vacation to D.C and visit the capital. Fortunately they have an older child that can watch the younger one and they’re goint to bring the kids to the ceremony (i could care less how many people come to that! it’s in a church so additional people are free) for the reception they are leaving them in the hotel. Not a big deal. They figured it out and are going to have fun! I would never in a million years NOT invite them because they have children. Not cool.

    Post # 28
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Woodstock:  I meant for an out-of-town wedding. I mean, I understand inviting people just for the gesture of doing so. We invited a lot of FI’s out-of-town family to our wedding (and by out-of-town, I mean literally an hour drive), and their kids are welcome/wanted at our wedding, and quite a few of them aren’t coming.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2468 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @drumkitt: Well everyone invited to my wedding is pretty much out of town since we’re about an hour away from EVERYONE but my immediate family. When I say out of town I mean out of state I guess. I don’t think an hour drive is really much of a hassle for a family with children. Then again my family traveled (drove b/c we are too poor to fly) to visit family up to 2 days away. We traveled 2-3 hours ALL the time.

     

    PS the family that is bringing their kids and not concerned they’re not coming to the wedding.. they’re from Wisconsin the wedding is in Virginia.

    Post # 30
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    What I don’t understand is why people take it as a personal attack against their children. It is nothing personal unless the bride and groom specifically say that your kid is not invited even though other kids are. I mean seriously, this is the bride and grooms wedding day and if they feel that it is inappropriate for whatever reason to not have kids at their wedding then why can’t people just accept it for what it is.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1096 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    We got married in April and had this same situation.  85% of our guest list was out of town, lots of them with kids.  They figured it out.  We had maybe one guest that I can recall not attend because their kids couldn’t come.  Everyone made arrangements.  We included this information on our website and sent our STDs out 6 months in advance.  We did not offer to pay for sitters but offered resources for those that wanted to bring their kids in to town with them.  Only one person made arrangements locally.  So I’ll disagree with PPs that said you would get a lot of declines because of it.  As long as you give people notice they can make arrangements. 

    The topic ‘No kids when guests are traveling? Help!’ is closed to new replies.

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