Post # 1
I know that you aren’t supposed to put “adults only” on an invite nor do you typically put your wedding website on the invite which may say no kids allowed. I’m from a crew that saying we have 2 seats reserved wouldn’t even process in their minds, they’d assume that meant them plus kiddos. Is there any other language we can use on the invite without seeming rude?
Post # 3
We put adult reception on our invitation and are having everyone RSVP on our wedding web site. The way the site is set up, they can’t add anyone that we didn’t already put on the guest list, so we pretty much tried to shut them down before they can do anything sneaky.
I think with some people, they are determined to break the rules and you have to be pretty obvious and in your face about the no kids rule.
Post # 4
You cannot write NO KID
But you can most certainly write… Adult Reception to follow
And then on the RSVP cards do what other Brides have had good success with…
__ of # Seats held in your Honour… WILL BE ATTENDING
With the number sign being where you hand write in on the number of people from that Invite that you intend it for (so a couple would be 2)
Alternatively as outlined by MadameTussaud: you could organize Electronic RSVPs… but this isn’t for everyone… and conveys too informal a feel for some weddings.
As well, there is nothing wrong with having more info about the Wedding on a Wedding Website if you choose to have one… in which case you could include things that wouldn’t necessarily be on the Invites, or included in the “Wedding Invitaiton Package” (either due to space, or traditonal etiquette rules) … Map to Venues, Hotel Info for Out of Town Guests, Sightseeing Ideas. Or notiations about it being an Adult Reception, Dress Code clarification (useful if you are having a more formal event, or your Religious Ceremony has restrictions on what is and isn’t appropriate attire), Registry Info etc.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
On the reception card we put “please join us for the adult reception immediatelt folowing…” also we added in babysitting info on the accomodations card.
Post # 6
We put adult reception to follow on the invitations and on the wedding websie where RVSP go via we put- due to restrictions at the venue we regret to inform you that children are not permitted.
Post # 7
Just out of curiosity what do you put if you don’t want kids at the ceremony and the receiption??? Or do people get the hint not to bring kids to anything by “adult reception”?
Post # 8
We’re including similar text on our invitations as what has been described above, re: adult reception to follow. We’re also sending STD’s and invitations to married, engaged, single, and long term partnered indiiduals only. We are not sending any invitations that say “and family” or ” and guest”. We’ve added a FAQ to our wedsite that addresses bringing a date as well as bringing children, explaining that we chose very intimate venues that are important to us, but this also require a very limited guest list, that we were unable to invite all that we would have liked and we respectfully request their understanding and cooperation. We’ve offered to link them with licensed area sitters if child care is needed too. With a small guest list (54 people) we have the benefit of being able to talk to each person easily, we’re also touching base rather casually with those that have children and the 4 guests that are single and may have expected to bring a date so that they are clear in the fact that we are not inviting children or plus one’s; saying things like “let me know if you need help finding a sitter for Jr. for the night of the wedding”, etc. We’ve also planned for a number of “family events” before the wedding so that everyone can get to know one another and also so that some of the kids feel included in the “fun things” but they don’t have to sit through a “boring ceremony and stupid grown up talks and stuff” (my 10 year olds words regarding the wedding and reception… though she will be there for a majority of those “boring things”) So far, so good, but we’ve also given everyone a year’s notice in an effort to ease their planning. (verbal and STD).
Post # 9
Thanks you guys. All super helpful. We’re from a young fine arts crew (read fresh from college and don’t know much about wedding etiquette) and trust I am only not guilty because I’ve been lurking on these boards for a minute. : )
Post # 10
@LibraryBlondie: I would like the same question answered. I’m a blunt, get to the point type of person and I don’t want there to be ANY confusion going on.
Post # 11
As an FYI no matter what you do there are always going to be difficult people. The RSVP part of the wedding is the WORST, most stressful and hardest part of the whole wedding in my opinion. Just try to follow etiquette from your end even if your guests don’t. Don’t stress. After the wedding is over whatever happened with guests and what not will not matter.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
If it’s likely to be an issue, I’d put “Adult reception to follow.” Ideally, you would not have to do this, but then there is the reality. People often think or pretend to think that “2 seats have been reserved” means 2 extra seats. Boggles the mind!
Post # 13
We used inner and outer envelopes, so on the inner envelopes we wrote out exactly who was invited- and it did NOT include any children. We didn’t do the ____ out of __2__ attending or anything, and I was nervous that people would assume their entire family was invited. We only had one family call to ask if the kids were allowed, but they called my Mother-In-Law (I had never even met the people) and she threw the hammer down & insisted that they not bring their kids.
In all, we had my 5 year old niece as the flower girl, and maybe 5 or 6 other kids over the age of 10 present at our wedding. The only exception was my 4 month old niece who is still being breastfed, and honestly I didn’t even know she was there until we went table to table during the reception.
Post # 14
On our reply card we put “we reserved 2 seats in your honor”, the seat number changed as needed per household, and the last sentence on the reply card we added “Adult Reception Only”.
Post # 15
I like the wording “adult reception” or putting “21+” on there. You’re lucky, I wasn’t able to exclude kids (2) from my reception. I hope they don’t act up….
Post # 16
TO – LibraryBlondie: No kids period…
This is when things get really touchy when it comes to Etiquette … because technically a church / place of worship is OPEN to all who wish to grace it. So truthfully there is NO POLITE way to put NO KIDS onto a Wedding Invite (Reception Info / Card… YES you can write Adult Reception to follow)
The work around for this is timing… and decorum.
If you have an “Adult Reception” that follows, then for the most part you won’t see any or many kids at the Wedding Ceremony (as Parents will feel it is too much work to shuttle the little ones around…). Likewise if you have an Evening Wedding, or a Black Tie affair, there are less chances of seeing kids at the Ceremony.
If kids do show up at your Ceremony you have to hope that the Parents have the “common sense” to sit at the back and remove their children if they should become disruptive / act up. Sadly though there are posts here on WBee that prove out that this isn’t always the case. Some Brides have taken further steps, to actually have an Usher speak with Parents with kids in tow when they arrive at the church to let them know what is expected of them…
It is by no means an easy call… or situation from an Etiquette point of view however
Hope this helps,