Post # 1
Bees, I’m destroyed. See my previous posts for some background on my ex Maid/Matron of Honor. I’m not looking for advice as what shes done is unforgivable. I just need to vent.
Yesterday I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to book an appointment to get her dress hemmed (keep in mind that I paid for the dress, hair, makeup, and alterations). She informed me that no she wouldn’t be taking it to the dress shop with the other 3 girls, she would instead be taking it to her friend. FYI her friend is not a steamstress shes just learning how to sew and she wanted to help her out. I of course said I didn’t want to her to test her skills on the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.
Well this sparked a huge fight. I tried to be understanding but she went on a complete rant. I’m a bridezilla, Im too controlling, I dont care about her and I quote “Everything about this wedding is about you, you, you!! What in this wedding is for me?!”. Well that comment upset me and I replied with “Why would you think my wedding would be about you?”. She processed to call me every name in the book and it ending with me saying “If thats how you feel about me and my wedding then I think it would be best for both of us if you didn’t attend as a Bridesmaid or Best Man but rather just a guest”.
I thought that was the end of it…… BUT!! Then I got about 20 texts from everyone woman in my FI’s family, my family and my friends. She went on a FB chat she had setup for my staggette and posted complete lies about me. She said I was sleeping with my FI’s best friend and some other guy I knew like 6 years ago!! EVERYONE I know saw this!! It was horrifying!!
Thankfully not one person believed the ridiculous things she said as they all know I would never be cableable of such a horrible thing and they all came to my defence. They all reported the group and had it shut down.
I spend the whole night crying and couldn’t go to work the next day. Its like having a breakup excpet this relationship was 15 years long.
I’ve lost my Maid/Matron of Honor and best friend in one day.. a month before my wedding.
Worse day every 🙁
Post # 2
Wow, it really sucks. The thing is, even over a friendship-ending disagreement, a mature person wouldn’t go on a huge rant like and spreading lies about you. She sounds immature, unstable, and like maybe it was time for you two to part ways.
So sorry you have to deal with this right before your wedding, but at least she won’t be in the pictures to remind you! (One of my BMs went on a downward spiral and basically ended the friendship over nothing, and I still have to see her face in my pictures all the time, which is frustrating)
Post # 3
One word – JEALOUSY
Im sorry this happened to you. However, I dont know her or you…..but this sounds like she may be jealous of you! And may have been for some time now. It sounds like she’s trying to make you unhappy. CARRY ON! You can’t let this ruin what is supposd to be the happiest day of your life!
Post # 4
I took my day to cry and when I went to bed I told my Fiance that I was done crying and starting tomorrow I would be moving on. You’re totally right about the pictures, I’m glad she wont be there and I wont have to look back on it with bad feelings.
Post # 5
My friend of 30 years accepted to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man ……three days later she told me that she doesnt want to be in my wedding and she doesnt want to be a guest! OH WELL……….CARRY ON!
Post # 6
FutureMrsKenward: how incredibly immature of her.
i dont even know if immature is the word. Spiteful? Junior High-ish? I can’t believe it!
I mean to include your FIs family too! It seems to me this would be a good person to have exit your life. Who needs that kind of negativity?
Post # 7
Your dead on with the junio high comment. It was like being in high school. Like writting “Bi*ch” across someones locker!
Post # 8
FutureMrsKenward: I’m so sorry, what a complete jerk! Just know that its ok to be upset and angry. It’s easy to say that you will cry one day and then move on but it’s really not that easy. I had a falling out with a friend two years ago and I still miss her sometimes. We remain cordial and friendly if we see each other etc. But I always remind myself who she really is and why it’s for the better we are no longer friends whenever I feel tempted to reach out to her. It really is like a break up, worse even! Justbremember you have lots of other good friends and a wonderful fi who love and support you!
Post # 9
FutureMrsKenward: she sounds very jealous and very immature. i know its hard right now but like with every break up the days will go by and you’ll be okay. you have your Fiance and your fam/friends that are on your side and is there for you to support and be there for you. take solace in that. even if in a few days she comes to apologize to you, i still wouldnt let her be my Maid/Matron of Honor. she’s shown her true colors and its ugly. but thats your call. its hard to throw away 15 years of friendship.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
FutureMrsKenward: I am soooo sorry. I KNOW how much it hurts. I too, just had a falling out a few months ago with my MOH/Best Friend of 30 YEARS! It’s heart wrenching and it was over something stupid that just escalated so bad and so quickly.
It has taken me months and although still sad about it, I have come to terms with it. It probably would have happened at some point in time in the future anyway with the way things were going.
Big hugs to you. It hurts, but you have to remember that your wedding is about you and your Fiance and to celebrate that day. Don’t let ANYONE take that happiness from you!
Post # 11
You ended the friendship first when you kicked her to the curb as Maid of Honor. Sounds like it was a smart move on your part, spreading lies about you was one hell of a parting shot.
Post # 12
It sounds like a very immature relationship, you don’t need her in your life anymore. You’re getting married and maturing, she is clearly not. See ya NEVER lady!
Post # 13
Oh, my goodness! I had something like that happen to me and my former BFF. She slept with someone (in MY BED) and then told her fiance I talked her into it. Which wasn’t true- I told her to get out of her current relationship because she shouldn’t be getting married if she wanted to be with this other guy. Out of that sparked a very long list of accusations and junior-high type name calling and it was awful. I was supposed to be her Maid/Matron of Honor and this all happened two months before her wedding. She told me I was toxic and that she needed to cut me out of her life.
I was devastated. She was supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor for my wedding at the end of the year and I was supposed to be hers in June. This all went down in February. It’s been hard.
Just know that there are people who have been in your shoes and understand the hurt and disappointment. Secondly, she sounds like a royal biotch and you are probably way better off without someone in your life who is going to tell people that you slept with your husband’s friend to get back at you.
Post # 14
Very sorry to read about your situation. Something somewhat similar happened to me where a former BFF lived with me and suddenly changed her demeanor towards me when I started dating Fiance. She was single at the time and I guess jealous of the relationship. Well, things went awry very quickly and I sked her to please move out as soon as she was able to as we continued to argue. She did so one day that I was away for work and she STOLE some of my stuff. I mean, I knew she was acting immaturely and was jealous that I had a Boyfriend or Best Friend but jee did not expect that behavior.
Anyways, it hurt at the moment but I can honestly say that I am glad she acted the way she did because it showed me that she was not a genuine and caring person. So in your case, while it hurts, try to look at the positive side of this. She showed you exactly the kind of person she is and luckily she did it before your wedding. Imagine if she caused a huge scene on your wedding day?
Post # 15
FutureMrsKenward: I know this sucks…but honestly, she doesn’t seem like she was a good friend to begin with if this is her reaction over having her dress hemmed. It sounds as if she is jealous and bitter about your upcoming wedding. She obviously could have handled herself better, but there’s a reason why they say weddings and funerals show you who your true friends are.