Post # 1
I’m not a bride but am a friend of a bride and want to see what you guys think of my situation. I have a friend who got engaged a few months ago to a guy I set her up with and my husband and I flew out for their engagement and were there during the proposal. While on that trip I helped her start planning and, while doing so, she straight out said that I would be in her bridal party (which I thought was strange since she didn’t ask but oh well, I was still flattered!). By December I was surprised she hadn’t mentioned anything else about being in the bridal party because she was really starting to get the wedding details together at this point. I didn’t want to be the first to bring it up because I felt like I would make it awkward. So, recently my husband found out through the groom who all is in the wedding party and I was not listed (he is the best man though). I thought this was strange and fairly rude! Now I don’t know if I should bring it up or let it go? Do you think she is avoiding telling me? Tell me your thoughts on this. 🙂
Post # 3
Hmmmm, maybe she felt pressured to say something since you flew out there for the engagement and everything? Are you guys really close? Because if not, I could see how it might be awkward for both of you. Like, maybe she thought since you flew out for the engagement that you would be expecting a place in the bridal party, even though you weren’t. And perhaps, if you’re not very close, she thought you felt awkward about it, and so silently decided not to have you in the bridal party? Sounds like a little communication break-down.
Either that, or maybe she was so excited and in-the-moment that she forgot she even said anything and the logistics just didn’t work out that way! This all seems very innocent to me; I don’t think she’s doing this on purpose.
Post # 4
Was it just a spur of the moment ‘omg your gonna be in my wedding’ type thing or was it a serious sit down and tell you thing?
if the first one, she probably doesn’t even remember saying it and has no idea you are even wondering. so she’s probably not avoiding bringing it up because she doesn’t know it’s even a situation.
just let it go.
Post # 5
Ha! I totally could have been the bride in this situation!
When I first got engaged, I thought a bridal party was a bachelorette party. An old friend that i’m not super close with asked who would be in the bridal party, and I said, blah, blah, blah, you if you like? and she said ‘ME?! You want me to be a Bridesmaid? That’s nice and I will if you want, but don’t feel like you have to ask just because i’m here.’ Thank god that got cleared up!
To me it kind of sounds like an innocent misunderstanding like pp’s said. If you talk to her often you could casually slip it into the conversation next time and just say ‘so how’s wedding planning? What colours, who are the bridesmaids, what theme?’
Post # 6
That is completely rude and awkward. I’m sorry you were put in this position! If I were you I’d definitely pretend to have forgotten all about it, and never bring it up. Honestly I wouldn’t be able to keep it from affecting my opinion of her manners, but I’d try to avoid the subject and have a good time at the wedding nonetheless.
Post # 7
4cube- That’s how I feel too, I don’t know if I can let it keep me from affecting my opinion of her manners. Of course, who knows if she did forget like the others said too, I have definitely considered that. When she told me it was in context to the color of the bridesmaid dresses and I commented on liking the color she was considering, and that’s when looked at me and said “Good, because you are going to be in the bridal party”.
I am sure I will let it go because I hate to bring it up (especially if I get placed in out of pity!), but I am dying to say something! I may just do as you said, Lovemelovemyhorses, and just casually ask about the planning for the bridesmaid dresses etc. If she mentions it, then great! If not, then my mind will just continue to question everything… lol!
Post # 8
@bre1785: That’s definitely weird (and rude). I would just assume you’re not in the party and be ok with it…think of it this way: you don’t have to fork out all that dough now!