(Closed) No longer a bridesmaid but wasn't told?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hmmmm, maybe she felt pressured to say something since you flew out there for the engagement and everything? Are you guys really close? Because if not, I could see how it might be awkward for both of you. Like, maybe she thought since you flew out for the engagement that you would be expecting a place in the bridal party, even though you weren’t. And perhaps, if you’re not very close, she thought you felt awkward about it, and so silently decided not to have you in the bridal party? Sounds like a little communication break-down.

Either that, or maybe she was so excited and in-the-moment that she forgot she even said anything and the logistics just didn’t work out that way! This all seems very innocent to me; I don’t think she’s doing this on purpose.

Post # 4
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Was it just a spur of the moment ‘omg your gonna be in my wedding’ type thing or was it a serious sit down and tell you thing?

if the first one, she probably doesn’t even remember saying it and has no idea you are even wondering. so she’s probably not avoiding bringing it up because she doesn’t know it’s even a situation.

just let it go.

Post # 5
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ha! I totally could have been the bride in this situation!

When I first got engaged, I thought a bridal party was a bachelorette party. An old friend that i’m not super close with asked who would be in the bridal party, and I said, blah, blah, blah, you if you like? and she said ‘ME?! You want me to be a Bridesmaid? That’s nice and I will if you want, but don’t feel like you have to ask just because i’m here.’ Thank god that got cleared up!

To me it kind of sounds like an innocent misunderstanding like pp’s said. If you talk to her often you could casually slip it into the conversation next time and just say ‘so how’s wedding planning? What colours, who are the bridesmaids, what theme?’

Post # 6
Member
463 posts
Helper bee

That is completely rude and awkward. I’m sorry you were put in this position! If I were you I’d definitely pretend to have forgotten all about it, and never bring it up. Honestly I wouldn’t be able to keep it from affecting my opinion of her manners, but I’d try to avoid the subject and have a good time at the wedding nonetheless.

Post # 8
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bre1785:  That’s definitely weird (and rude). I would just assume you’re not in the party and be ok with it…think of it this way: you don’t have to fork out all that dough now!

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