Post # 1
this is my first post ever on any of these boards. my wonderful fiancé and I got engaged in October of 2014 after 6 years of dating. We are getting married next month (June 2016.) 2016 was supposed to be such a great year, but some horrible things have happened that have left me feeling so much less excited for my own wedding.
my grandfather passed away, my parents are having severe marital problems, and my fiancé lost his job, all within the last 3 months. These issues have been weighing heavily on me and I constantly feel like crying or throwing up because I get so sick to my stomach thinking about them. the last thing I want to do is plaster a smile on my face, and throw a celebratory party when all of this is going on behind the scenes.
Has or is anyone else here going through something similar? I am really trying to stay positive.
Post # 2
I’m sorry for your loss and stress lately. Remember you don’t need to have a wedding – if marriage is truly what’s most important you can get married at the courthouse. Maybe throw a one year celebration party instead.
Post # 3
I think it adds special meaning to “For richer or poorer, in sickness and health…” that you are still committing to each other during rought times. You still deserve to celebrate your love, and it’s important to find the beautiful moments even when going through hard times. I think it could give you strength to be surrounded by your nearest and dearest and hopefully the feelings of excitement will follow! Wishing you the best!
Post # 4
I think a wedding could shed some positive light in a dark time like this, bring your families together and really connect and share your love. You shouldn’t let life’s obstacles bring you down especially in times like this 🙂 right before I got married I was having a really tough time with life in general, I was graduating college, trying to figure out what to do in life, no job, my family was going through a lot, and my boyfriend had joined the military and was all the way across the ocean…I was having an early life crisis (couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, depressed, etc.). Then the day before father’s day my boyfriend asked if I wanted to get married so I could be with him and figure things out without the pressure from my family, so I went out on a limb and said yes. 2.5 weeks later I was married and then I had to leave home and fly across the ocean to be with him. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it was so worth it in the end.
It’s in times like this when it’s most important to remember to celebrate life, and love, and make the most of the time you have with him and also with your family. I hope everything goes well for you 🙂
Post # 5
Your fiancé will find a job; your parent’s situation will be worked out one way or another. Other than proximity in time, these situations have nothing to do with each other. They certainly don’t have anything to do with your wedding.
Your grandfather’s granddaughter is about to get married. That’s great! I doubt he’d want anything to interfere with that, even his own death. He’ll be there with you — literally, as the two of share DNA. You living life, getting married, and having children, if you do, means that part of him is still around and it’s having a heck of a good time.
These situations feel overwhelming now, but if your nerves weren’t already frazzled by the wedding, I doubt you’d be feeling all of this so intensely. Give your body and mind some rest. Spend extra time with your fiancé, do a little exercise, go for walks, eat yummy food — pamper yourself. You’ll be married in a month and all of this anxiety will lessen.
Also, don’t worry about plastering on a smile or having to make yourself feel a certain a way. Don’t anticipate your feelings or think about how you’ll feel hours, days, or weeks from now. You’ll feel how you feel on your wedding day. That’s all there is to it.
Post # 6
During our engagement, two marriages broke down (one in each of our families). My aunt finished her cancer treatments, only for my step mother’s mother and then my step-mother to be diagnosed with it. My step-mother’s mother passed away. My grandfathers health deteriorated massively and we didn’t know if he would make it. My husband’s grandmother became too frail to travel for our wedding. As a PP said, for us it really helped us to focus on our decisions to get married and understand what our vows meant.
You can cancel the wedding and get married if you would prefer. Sometimes depending on how much there is left to do it’s easier (and cheaper) to carry on with plans. It certainly was for us. Our wedding also became this beacon for our guests. In the end, the wedding itself was less for us and more for our families, something for them to look forward to. Not that I regret our wedding but they took so much from it. People also won’t care in the least about decor and just be excited to spend time with family members under happy circumstances. I think the excitement on the day will pull you through and other guest’s excitement in the build up will be contagious. It doesn’t mean you can’t be sad as well! if you sad or stressed it’s OK and you can awknowledge that anytime you want -even the wedding day. I hope things start picking up soon.