(Closed) No longer being single

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4029 posts
Honey bee

No. I haven’t been single in over 14 years (married 3 years) and don’t miss it. Getting married was just a cornerstone in our already committed relationship, so I didn’t see it as going from single to married.

Post # 3
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I totally had that thought on the drive to the wedding venue. I realized that I did have a lot of fun as a single lady but having Darling Husband as my lifelong partner was so much better. We’ve made so many more happy memories, and now I can’t imagine my life without him. 

Post # 4
Member
3169 posts
Sugar bee

Making the decision to choose this one person to build a life with is scary – it should be, it’s a huge, important, exciting step. I am a very strong, independant person, a free spirit who has wrestled with the notion of settling down a lot. I spent a lot of time building a pretty amazing life as a single person. Heck it was so great I attracted someone equally as wonderful as my now DH! I was absolutely stark raving terrified at times in the lead up to our wedding. I am sure many people here would shout “red flag”! But I tell you, as a fellow worrier, it all goes away after the wedding. Now I only have the excitement at being a family, no doubts or worries. Hang in there, tell your gorgeous partner how you feel, don’t retreat and go through it by yourself, and have faith that what everyone says is true – it is worth it

 

Post # 5
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mshoneybeespgbuzz:  yes to some degree.  I was that girl who always had a bf so sometimes I think I missed out on being single… However I then remember I don’t like being single which is probably why I always had a bf!!! It is a weird thought to think forever, but also comforting in some ways

Post # 6
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

mshoneybeespgbuzz:  

I’m not gonna lie or sugarcoat it: Marriage seemed somewhat scary to me. Life without him was scarier, so, I said I do. I don’t miss being single, per se, but some days sure are weirder than others having to account for his opinion on things. We’ve been married 16yrs and we still don’t have the exact same taste in restaurants or movies or football teams or music. Love makes the world go round, though.

<3

 

Post # 7
Member
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

Nope! I’ve been with my SO for 3 years and have only been “single” for a few months cumulative before that since my first boyfriend when I was 14 (which was 10 years ago). I am excited that I will NEVER be single again lol

Post # 8
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

mshoneybeespgbuzz:  Like others have said, the notion of not being single anymore didn’t feel weird. We were together for 10.5 years before we got married. For me, what felt really weird was the first time I referred to him as my husband at work.  It caught me off guard for some reason. 

Post # 9
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I had a really hard time in the beginning. I was always the “boy crazy one” and always a ton of fun to go out with and search for guys on the prowl. I felt like i had an easier time when i was single connecting to other women, as we bonded over awkward dates, stressful dating situations, and finding Mr. Right. On top of that, i was one of the youngest of my friends to get married (i got engaged at 23). I felt really alone after that. None of my other friends were getting married so they couldnt really relate to things i was going with, with wedding planning, gaining a new family, and everything.

My husband is the most incredible man that i am the luckiest girl. I love married life and don’t want to go back to being single, but at that time it was really hard. Nowt hat i’m older and almost 28 many of my friends are settling down and can connect ith me some more. but it was hard in the beginning… especailly because i felt like my identity changed. I couldn’t be the “boy crazy one” as a married woman. thats not respectful to my husband and i have no desire to be that way. 

Post # 10
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

For me it’s a little weird to wrap my head around the idea that Fiance will be in my life FOREVER. It’s just a weird concept cause I’ve only known Fiance a year and a half. So it is kind of odd, but at the same time, it’s the best feeling ever too.

Another weird thing is the ring…it’s kind of weird to go around with this symbol that immediately tells the world you’re taken. There are a few younger guys at work who I felt like sometimes would use a bit of a flirty tone with me (something I never reciprocated), but I noticed they all backed completely off the minute I showed up wearing a ring (which is good). The other day I was hanging out by myself on my apartment building’s rooftop, and I could tell this guy was checking me out. I ignored it, but eventually he came over and introduced himself and asked how I was. I answered him politely, while strategically moving my hand so the ring was in plain sight, and then he immediately stuttered something about having to go and just left. (Which was what I wanted.)

I don’t mourn being “hit on” but it’s just a weird feeling to wear a ring and have everyone around you immediately know you’re taken! 

Post # 11
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I get what you mean and I felt the same way. Even though I hadn’t been technically single for about 6 years, I still had a moment of “wow, no more first dates, no more anticipation for a first kiss, etc.” I talked to one of my friends about it and she likened it to graduating from high school: you are closing a chapter and starting a super exciting new one, but it’s still bittersweet. I thought it was spot on.

Post # 12
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Not for me. I hated being single. Dating was heartbreaking and sometimes humiliating. It was awful. I did my time, and Im so so so thankful I got to graduate.

Post # 13
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

I haven’t been single since I was 18 (26 now) and if I recall correctly, being single consisted 100% of me desperately trying to not be single, so I don’t miss it.

Post # 14
Member
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I don’t miss being single at all. I hated it. I never spent much time being single as an adult, so it’s really not weird to me to not be single anymore.

Post # 15
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have mourned my single-hood a bit. Not at all because I didn’t want to be married but because I am typically a very independent person–lived by myself for several years, traveled alone, etc.–and I really enjoyed that. The idea that I likely won’t ever go on another solo trip is a little sad to me, and I think it’s normal to admit that kind of thing. It doesn’t take away from my relationship with my husband that I was also able to be happy on my own.

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