(Closed) No longer interested in being involved in this wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@1stRosie:  You’re entirely correct: this IS a circus and everyone elses year does NOT revolve around her wedding.  There seems to be this increasing attitude amongst certain kinds of brides that it does, and that if people do not drop EVERYTHING and make EVERY function, they “just didnt care.” You’re right: we don’t! 

 

Sounds like you have done plenty and have given ample warning you werent happy with how things were playing out. I, personally, can’t believe you hung in there this long.  This sounds like a nightmare.

Post # 4
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m confused.. They already had a bachelorette weekend, why are they having another bachelorette Party? And what was the $350 for the shower for? I don’t understand 

Post # 6
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

@1stRosie:  It sounds like your friend has very unreasonable expectations.  You have done more than enough.  Unfortunately, some brides today seem to have entitlement issues and think it’s ok to keep asking for more and more.  Hang in there- you are a good friend!

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Unfortunately, it sounds like this has even gotten out of your friend’s control. I’ve noticed weddings these days seem to blow up into these big productions. Definitely not my thing and I don’t blame you for being done. I would let your friend know that you are happy for her and support her, but just can’t financially afford all of this.

Post # 9
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@1stRosie:  Like I said, I wouldnt have been involved this long.  I tend to distance myself from people that think that a wedding (or any function, really) in THEIR life should take precedent over others.  I can think of two brides off the top of my head like this: bride #1 stopped talking to her best friend because she didnt make it to her shower.  Bride #2 told her entire bachelorette party how she was “done” with a friend who didnt come because she found out 2 days before she’s pregnant. Bride #2 said “if MY DAY was that important to her, she’d have been here.”  Some people need a reality check.

Post # 10
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@1stRosie:  $350 per Bridesmaid or Best Man for a shower?  Heck no!

As far as it being hot in Miami this weekend, we have had an unseasonably cool May and we have been enjoying temps 10-15 degrees cooler than they normally are as well as hardly any humidity.  Sounds like they are all a bunch of whiney babies.

I think you have spent more than enough and need to re-evaluate this friendship to determine if it’s truly worth spending any more time and money on her wedding.  Personally, as soon as she told me she thought everyone was being cheap (when she was being ridiculous), I would have backed out of the whole production.

Post # 11
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@1stRosie:  step down and say you simply can’t afford it. You have your own life to live too. Don’t give any more money until the actual wedding, that would be the wedding gift, and Only give what you can reasonably afford. Meg is your friend. I’m sure she won’t chastise you knowing that you are planning your own wedding as well. And if she does, well that’s all the more reason not to feel bad for stepping down. 

Post # 12
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ugh I don’t blame you, I don’t think I could stay friends with her after everything you described. You already went to Miami for her bachlorette, don’t go to the other party & don’t contribute $. This girl is out of control! She doesn’t deserve to have an awesome friend like you.

Post # 13
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ohh that sucks and I can totally relate! I’m getting married in the fall and am a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a wedding this summer (she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man for me too). She hasn’t gone wacko on me like your friend as done, but she’s going more over the top than I am, and there have been times when I want to shout “You remember I’m getting married too?! I’m going broke here!!” Thankfully her mom covered the shower and the bride and Maid/Matron of Honor have been reasonable with the bachelorette as well. 

If she’d been acting like your friend had I’d have lost my damn mind! I think you should maybe write her an email or speak to her directly in a very pragmatic way to explain the costs and how you can’t cover them all. Nothing is worse than a bride who thinks everyone should fork over thousands because they’re getting hitched! 

ETA: I also thing not all brides/BMs (not necessarily referring to you, OP) do a good job of managing expectations up front. It should be incumbent on the bride to let her Wedding Party know what kinds of costs to expect, and conversely BMs should let the bride know what their budget is when accepting the request. Too many people make this all about the emotion and the sentiment and blah blah blah.. sorry but when my wallet is involved, emotion goes out the window and I need to get to the nitty gritty! A lot of stress and busted friendships would be saved if people could just not be so worried about offending people and just be up front! 

Post # 15
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@1stRosie:  holy crap.. pot, meet kettle! Your bride has entered into bridezilla lala land and needs to get real. Your bank account is not limitless!!!

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