(Closed) No longer my Best Friend (Long Vent)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
12632 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, she’s a newlywed with a baby.  She’s got a lot going on right now.  You still see her, even though it’s less often.  Have you tried talking to her and saying, “Hey, I’d love if we could stay in contact more often, how about a Tuesday night phone date?” or something?

She’s moving across the country for her husband, who she chose to marry and have a child with.  It would be more alarming if she didn’t choose to move with him. 

I think that people grow apart as their lives change, but ending a friendship over something like this is very drastic to me.  I get that you may not be 100% in agreement with her chocies, but the choices have been made, and now as her friend, you should accept that and try to work with her to keep the friendship going, rather than giving up. 

Post # 4
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It is so hard to manage a new baby, a new husband and friends sometimes.  I dont get to see my friends for months sometimes, you are lucky you get her once a week. I think that you are hurt but there is no reason to think she is not a friend anymore. 

Post # 6
Member
12632 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Artificial-Sweetener:  I agree.  But throwing away a friendship isn’t the way to deal with it.  She probably has no idea that you’re hurt.  Maybe the next time you guys hang out you can discuss it with her? 

Post # 7
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@abbie017:  I agree.

Tell her you love her and miss her tons and would like to spend more time with her before you leaves. I am sorry you are feeling this way. 

Post # 9
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Speaking as someone who has a lot of friends with kids, I think that you see her once a week is pretty awesome! I know many of my friends wish they could squeeze an eveing of tv time with friends in but they just can’t. Also, if moving allows her to be a stay at home mom, I don’t blame her for moving! Don’t be too hard on her, sounds like she has a lot on her plate!

Post # 10
Member
6746 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

That really sucks that things changed so fast, but I don’t think that makes you guys any less of friends.  I’m sure she’s just really busy, but loves you just the same.  The fact that you still see each other on a weekly basis is more than I see my friends and I’m not married or have kids.  There are 2 girls I talk to on a daily or near daily basis and that’s only b/c I can go on gchat and so can they.. as for the rest of my girls?  It’s texting every so often and meeting up every 2-3 months, if even that often.

It might be harder now to stay in touch, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t happen or won’t.  Impress upon her how important it is to you to stay in touch with her – buy her a card for when she’s going away and write something sweet about all the memories the two of you share and how much you love her and how you really hope you guys can make time for at least weekly phone calls just to catch up, if not more often, and that the two of you must make a promise to visit each other whenever possible.

I’m sorry things with your friends are changing, but trust me, this doesn’t have to be the end of a friendship.  When my friend moved away for law school, I made it even more of a priority to reach out to her and visit her whenever I could, now 3 years after law school is done, we’re still best friends, she’s getting married next year and I’m her MOH.  It can be done.  I promise. 

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