(Closed) No longer sure when my ring will come or when we'll get married…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long were you dating before he proposed?
    Less than 1 year : (17 votes)
    13 %
    1-2 years : (32 votes)
    25 %
    3-4 years : (28 votes)
    22 %
    5+ years : (52 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    3053 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    since there’s no 2-3 option, I won’t vote. It’ll be before the 3 year mark but barely. same sex relationship here though, which does influence a BIT

    Post # 4
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @SunshineDaisy:  You guys seem like you are open and willing to have discussions abuot the ring and the proposal, so I would try to talk to him about it. Tell him that all you really want is to be married, and specifically that you would like to be married by October. Would it be okay with you if he proposed without the ring at first, but with you knowing that he is going to continue to put what he can towards your ring? I know some people have to have the ring, but at least you would know it was something he was working towards. Either that, or you could at least start to plan some things and know what you want. You would have to start putting some deposits down soon if you wanted any kind of popular venue since October is only getting closer!

    Post # 5
    3101 posts
    Sugar bee

    @SunshineDaisy:  I don’t think your relationship should hinge on his ability to pay for a ring.  There are some VERY nice CZ rings that would do in the mean-time, and you could get a more expensive one as a wedding present from him.  Maybe the ring is an excuse to put off your future together?  Just my two cents.  Good luck.

    Post # 7
    138 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m sure he will do everything in his means to get your original ring. I understand you want to be engaged before living together, but you can always push back the wedding date. I wouldn’t let a hypothetical wedding date damper my spirits. 

    Post # 8
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @SunshineDaisy: Welcome newbee:) I’m glad your Boyfriend or Best Friend is open about it, seems like he’s trying very hard. If he’s started working normal, he might be able to save a little bit. There is still time. i agree with other bees, you guys can compromise on a ring, because it is just a symbol, it doesn’t have to be expensive. I wouldn’t do any planning though, take one step at a time. 

    Good luck!

    Post # 9
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Is there a certain reason you’re hoping for October? If there is you two should talk about it. Like PP said, you could go with a cheaper option and/or elope. I wouldn’t worry about “ruining the surprise” as long as you’re not nagging. This is one of the biggest decisions of your life, you should be a part of the conversation! 

    Post # 10
    9667 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    We got engaged on our three year anniversary, like you we have no idea when the wedding will happen. We planned on a 3.5 year engagement but it will likely be a year or two longer than that due to circumstances beyond our control pushing things we need to do before we get married back.

    Welcome to the hive! Hopefully you will get engaged soon!

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