Post # 1
I’ve been in and out of these boards for awhile. If you’ve read my previous posts, you may remember I’ve been waiting for awhile! I’d been with my boyfriend for over four years, living together for three, and we’re both 33. I had brought up marriage from the start as something that was important to me, and about two years in, I told him he was the one for me and I wanted to marry him. He said he wasn’t ready, but six months later, he took me to look at rings. Two years later, he still hadn’t proposed. I’d brought marriage/our future up about once every 3-6 months during that time period, and each time he reassured me that it was “coming soon” or some version of that. (Looking back, it was all the red flags of “I was going to do it but you brought it up so now I have to wait” or “How do you know I don’t have a ring yet?” etc.)
A couple months ago, I told him I didn’t want to resign our lease together if he couldn’t talk about the future with me. He still coudln’t, but I didn’t want to break up with him over a lease. The next few months were pretty painful for us. I’m in a tough spot in life with my career, and he wasn’t really that supportive. I became pretty resentful over him not proposing. I posted on here for an outsider opinion (and talked to many friends and family), and a few weeks ago, I decided to tell him it was over.
I couldn’t wait any longer for false promises of marriage. I didn’t feel like his promsing of “soon” would ever come. I’m working on putting my life back together without him, and although I’m not 100% sold on it being the right decision, I feel good about it and look forward to finding someone who can’t wait to marry me and won’t drag me along for years saying, “Well, maybe.”
My heart goes out to all of you who are waiting, and I hope you get the life you deserve. Thank you to those of you who supported me along the way!
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
I know things are hard and scary right now, but you should be proud of yourself. You acted courageously for your own happy future.
Post # 3
Sounds like you made an impossibly hard decision, but that it’s the right one for you and your future. Well done.
It’s very rare that we make such a big decision and feel absolutely confident that it was the right one, so try not to let that little bit of residual uncertainty get to you.
Just remember: so many people don’t have the courage to do what you have, and instead massively compromise their future and happiness. You’ve set yourself up for a much brighter future and should congratulate yourself every morning while you move through this difficult phase.
Best of luck!
Post # 4
First off I just want to say I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. I’m also very proud of you for knowing your worth and getting out of that dead end relationship. Much hugs and best of luck with everything
Post # 5
Bee, I’m glad you chose to walk away. You absolutely deserve someone who is fully committed to your future.
Post # 6
Good for you for making this hard decision, and good for you for taking control back over your own life. I’m sorry you are hurting. I do know that you will get to the other side of it and will feel much better about yourself and your life. The best part is you have freed yourself to be able to meet someone who won’t hesitate to marry you. Good luck to you!
Post # 7
I’m sorry Bee. It sounds like you two were at different parts of life and he wasn’t ready to commit. But he was a jerk to string you along like that.
Although leaving is very hard I’m positive you made the correct decision. There are plenty of good men who do want marriage now. Now “maybe later”.
Post # 8
Hoepfully I can follow in your footsteps. I’ve just blocked his number from my phone. We’ve been together creeping up on 11yrs. I think it’s time for me to move on. Hence why I blocked his number because of the fight we had last night. Clearly, it’s over for me.
Good luck with moving forward. Again, I hope I can follow suit.
Post # 9
I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself. I know ripping the bandaid is painful but now you are on the right path to finding true happiness! Each day will get easier.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry you are going through this. You deserve to have the things you want in life and deserve someone who realizes your worth.
Post # 11
my fingers are crossed for you!
Post # 12
You made the right decision. Now you are free to find someone who DOES want to be with you. Or to do anything that isn’t just a complete waste of time.
Post # 13
good for you bee. I hope you find someone who knows what a treasure you are and treats you accordingly!
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts
I was in a very similar situation as you. Honestly, I’m so happy that I left him. I feel sooo much better not being around my ex and all the toxicness. It sucks for a little bit, but then you are like I’m tired of being sad. Girl, just enjoy your freedom for a little bit and when you’re ready- you will know what you will and will not stand for and find the man for you!