(Closed) No “Maid of Honor”

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

i don’t really want to pick a maid of honor, but we already have a best man … i’m curious to see what people think of this too.

Post # 18
Member
14 posts
Newbee

I’m having the same problem and it’s totally stressing me out — 6 bride’s maids, 2 i’ve know for 29 years (seriously) 3 are really close friends from college, and 1 is my fiance’s sister.  I really don’t want to choose, so I’m considering asking his sister or just not having one.  I’d love to not choose, but he really wants a best man.  Would it be weird to have a best man and no maid of honor?

Post # 19
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I have 7 attendants total, as does my Fiance. FI wanted both his brother & his best friend to be "Best Men," so I went ahead and chose 2 MOH’s – one maid of honor and one matron of honor. It all worked out perfectly, because neither of us felt like we should have to choose 1 single person who was more important than the rest, we both chose the two people closest to us instead.

Post # 20
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This makes me feel so much better!  I don’t have a sister and wanted a really small bridal party, so chose 3 good friends.  I didn’t want to have to choose a Maid/Matron of Honor out of them, so I didn’t.  Everyone thinks it’s funny and that I should choose, but I don’t want to!

Post # 21
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Yeah, I just informed my fiance about my decision and he was not pleased, but I kind of don’t care.  I don’t want to make a destinction between my friends like that just so we can have a wedding that matches his preconceptions about what a wedding should be!

Post # 22
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Do you have one that either has more time available, or lives closer and can then be more helpful? 

Post # 23
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Not really; plus I really just don’t want to say to my friends ” Sorry, Sarah’s a better friend than you" or "gee, I really like all of you, but I like Betsy the best."  My relationship with each woman is unique.

Post # 24
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I don’t have a sister but choosing which friend would be Maid/Matron of Honor was a no-brainer for me. I don’t think there’s any problem at all with not choosing one, but usually the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor are the witnesses that sign the marriage certificate, so you might want to think about who you want to do that. It could be someone that’s not even in the bridal party.

Post # 25
Member
14 posts
Newbee

I didn’t realize they sign the cert.  When does that usually happen?

Post # 26
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I have 5 Maids of Honor! I couldn’t choose between my friends, because they are all very important to me in different ways, so I just called them all my Honor Attendants and they seem perfectly happy. We can have them draw straws to sign the marriage license if need be, but I suspect they will work it out peacefully between themselves.

Post # 27
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t have a sister, either, and all of the friends I would choose to be bridesmaids live in different states than I do, so it’s unlikely that any of them will be involved in the planning.  I know the Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be the bride’s helper with planning, so if mine would not be that, it would only be a title. I’d rather not give one Bridesmaid or Best Man that title, because I also feel that it would be like telling the others, "I like her more than you." 

Post # 28
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

No Maid of Honor here, either!!  I wouldn’t feel comfortable "picking" one friend over the other.  & I have 2 sisters, so I couldn’t just pick one and not the other.  So, I have all bridemaids and that is just fine with me!

Post # 29
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

No maids of honor here.  I mean how do you pick one of your sisters or pick between friends.  It just didn’t make sense for me.  Fiance is having a best man though, and I think that’s fine.  Each of the maids brings special talents and experiences and I couldn’t imagine singling out just one.

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