Post # 1
Hello bees 🙂
I hope you ladies are all doing good with all the wedding preparations.
So I have 3 bridesmaids and NO maid of honor. 1 bridesmaid is my good college friend and the other 2 my fiances sisters. I personally really don’t mind not giving any of the girls that title. I have lots of friends in different states and countries, but don’t really have a group of friends that I grew up with or have known for a long time (I have moved a lot). I really wish I had a sister. Fiances sisters are being supppper helpful, but I feel like, if I ask, I would give them a responsibility they might not really want and be in a dificult situation (since they will not say “no” out of respect…i’m assuming).
So no maid of honor it is.
My questions for you:
-Who should I pick to do the toast and talk abt me at the reception?
-Is it ok to arrange my own bachelorette party? Kind of like a girls night out/engagement party sort of thing. I really could care less abt the traditional bachelorette party to be honest….which brings me to my next question…
-Is it ok NOT to have a bachelorette party?
-What other responsibilities would a maid of honor have if I had one?
Post # 3
Maid of Honor is really just a title. Essentially your bridesmaids will do anything that your Maid/Matron of Honor would have done. It’s perfectly fine to not have a bachelorette if you don’t want to. Or if you just wanna get them all together for a small meal/drinks/fun time. It’s whatever you wanna do.
Also, talk to them about the speeches. Who knows–maybe two of them hate public speaking, and the third will have been dying to do it! Ask them their preferences. If they can’t come to an agreement, there’s nothing wrong with having all three of them say something–but keep is very brief. Also, the speeches should come at the reception–not the ceremony.
Post # 4
i was in a wedding once where the bride had only 3 BMs and no Maid/Matron of Honor. although somewhere along the line i became the Maid/Matron of Honor because i organized her shower and bachelorette and she asked me to give a toast. for you, i think you could talk all three of them and see who would be most comfortable giving a toast – some people don’t like public speaking! or maybe they could do a combined one?
and i DEFINITELY think its ok not to have a bachelorette party! i didn’t! and my sister is Maid/Matron of Honor, so she totally would have organized one, but i didn’t want one! i prefer organizing my own girls nights too!
Post # 5
Ok first off….if you choose not to have one that is your choice but i would have your college friend do it. Just keep in mind you need one girl to be by you as much as possible since you can’t do it all yourself. They don’t talk about you at the ceremony but at the reception. 😉
You asked if ok NOT to have a bachelorette party. Yes, but it can be fun and clean. My one girlfriend we got all dressed up and went out to a great restraunt for dinner. My other (whom is my Matron of Honor) had her’s at a Mystery Dinner show. We are all christians and the typical bachelorette going out and being stupid and getting drunk thing just really isn’t for us. So I’m trying to come up with different ideas for that.
There are a TON of responsiblities for a Maid/Matron of Honor.
-help get you dressed day of wedding, keeping you sane and the toast and so much more.
-little odds and ends leading up to the day like going shopping with you, going to pick something up.
-going to bridal shows with you.
-going when you try on the dress.
the list goes on and on….
Post # 6
My future sisters in law are helping A LOT (especially the one of them) and I know I can count on all of them to help at the day of the wedding.
MY MOM is basically here for everything. She is the one going with me to try dresses on most of the time (i’ve gone with her my sis in law and future mom in law also).
The college friend is the one helping the least, but that’s because she is not American and has no idea what a bridesmaid does or what a maid of honor would do. She is doing the right thing by being there for me in different ways:)
So I really am not missing the support and I know that my mom and all 3 girls will be there to help with anything I ask.
For the toast I am now debating between one of the sisters in law and my college friend. Sister in law would be better at public speaking, but college friend knows me better than she does and was there when I first started talking to my fiance etc etc. So I am still confused. I think II will ask the friend first and see what she thinks.
But I am sticking to not labeling any of them as a maid of honor.
Post # 7
I also have three bridesmaids and am not having one as a Maid/Matron of Honor. I think this is becoming a lot more common and is totally acceptable.
First of all, if you don’t really want a bachelorette party, don’t have one. I think it would be fine to plan your own if you do want one, but it’s not a MUST. I personally am just going out to dinner with my bridesmaids as one of my BMs, my fiance’s sister, is only 17 and obviously can’t go “out” anywhere with us.