(Closed) No MIL – Am I Missing Out?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I LOVE HER IN REAL LIFE!

SHE IS THE PITS WITH WEDDING PLANNING!!  the pits.

Post # 18
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My sister has the greatest mother-in-law (actually all of of her in-laws are pretty great).  She’s been with her husband for almost 15 years (since they were in HS) so I’ve always kind of expected to have that same type of relationship with my in-laws.  My Mother-In-Law, SIL, and Father-In-Law are honestly the most selfish people I have ever encountered in my life. Luckily, they don’t live anywhere near me and my husband feels the same way so our contact is limited.  I DO feel like I am missing out though when I see my sister and her Mother-In-Law because I wish I had that type of relationship with mine.

Post # 19
Member
3315 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, I soft of have one.  But NotFroofy has not been in contact with her for years, and she doesn’t even know we are married.

To be honest, my former Mother-In-Law was one of the best parts of my first marriage.  Even after the marriage ended, I stayed in contact with her until her Alzheimer’s got so bad that she forgot who I was.  At her funeral, when my ex-husband broke down in tears, I was the one he wanted to hold onto (although we had been divorced for years), because he knew I understood how wonderful she had been.

Post # 20
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No Mother in Law or Father in Law here either.  My Fiance has step siblings from both his parents.  He has never met those from his Mothers side as she basically walked out on he and his dad when Fiance was 2.  In the nearly 4 years we have been together I have meet two step sisters and one step brother from his dad (I believe there are another 3 girls his dad had with yet another woman).  They came to meet our daughter, but there is a huge age gap between my Fiance and them. (FI is 42, they are 18, 16 and 13)

I told them they were welcome at any time, and that if they wanted I would come and pick them up seeing as none of them have licenses.  We haven’t heard from them since….and seeing as they only made contact when they heard about our Daughter (through facebook), sad to say I don’t think we will hear from them again in the near future.  I guess its the age difference, its two completely seperate familieis really.

I miss not having a family on his side.  No one to get the funny childhood stories from, no child hood photos at all, no Mother-In-Law to bicker with ;)….but I tell him that I will share my Mum with him, and I love my Mum she is super awesome and super supportive!!

Post # 21
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t have future parents-in-law either. My FI’s father passed away 20+ years ago, and his mother… well, he doesn’t have a relationship with his mother (or his siblings, really). She is the reason for his not-so-flattering views of organized religion as well.

In recent years, he has reconnected with his aunt and uncle, and all their kids (his cousins). They are super-sweet people, and I consider them my future in-laws.

Personally, after reading and hearing numerous stories of people’s horrible in-laws, I feel very blessed to not have to deal with that directly and that the family members I have met are truly nice people.

Post # 22
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No, every family situation is different, so I don’t think you are “missing out” at all. I’m sure you will have plenty of family experiences that those of us with MILs wouldn’t have! 

As for mine, she is pretty awful- lol. I know there are good ones out there, but the chances of you getting one would probably be pretty slim. 😉

Post # 23
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My FH is older and this is his second marriage so his mom is just being happy that her son is happy. I feel bad that he will never get to know my mom, she passed away 3 years ago, I tell him that she would have been the most amazing Mother-In-Law ever!

Post # 24
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think S292010 and I have the same Mother-In-Law. With the way things are with my Mother-In-Law and me, I’d prefer to “miss out”  I think it depends on the person, though, as I hear people loving their in-laws (LUCKY!)  but If I could pick to have a Mother-In-Law vs. none, I’d pick none. My Mother-In-Law is the source of my unhappiness.

Post # 25
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

repost

Post # 26
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My FI’s biological mother abandoned him and his family when he was a baby, so his entire family hates her.  He still talks to her every now and then and I have met her a couple of times, but I don’t really expect her to be part of our lives, and she’s not invited to the wedding (too much drama!).  His stepmother, on the other hand, is very much a part of our lives.  I like her but the Fiance doesn’t, so I don’t want to get too close to her for fear of making my Fiance feel like she and I are teaming up against him.  So, even though I technically have two MILs, I feel like I don’t have any.  There are a few who have amazing MILs, but I think for most of us it’s a lot of drama and stress trying to maintain good relationships with them while still dealing with their issues.  I think you should see it as a blessing in disguise!

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