(Closed) No money. No job. No house. No wedding. (aka The Longest Post in the World)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@swedeypie:  it is SUPER confusing, I agree.

it goes like this:


you get to the country. from that day, when they stamp your passport, you have 30 days to:

-get married

-apply for a work permit (called EAD, optional, you have to pay)

-apply for a travel permit (called advance parole, optional, you have to pay)


once you marry, you have to adjust status (from visa holder to green card holder) whenever you get the $1000 that it costs. it is better to do it asap, just cause you get your green card earlier, but you’re not forced.

if you DIDN’T apply for the work permit/travel permit WITHIN 30 days, you have to apply when you apply for your adjustment of status (and it doesn’t cost anything)


like, you can apply within the 30 days, or with your adjustment of status paperwork, but not on day, say, 32.


Post # 33
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

Wishing you had more support from parents, and I hope that all works out well.  I don’t have anything to add to what others have already said.  (( Hugs))

Post # 35
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@swedeypie:  Have you gone on visajourney.com?  That site has more information than anywhere out there and has been most helpful about timelines as to when you have to file papers, how long it takes, what the exact fees are, and there are support groups of people from every country so you can get advice, ask questions, and read other people’s stories as well. I belong there because my Fiance and I are waiting for his visa from Australia, only we are still waiting for our NOA2, and probably will be for quite a while because of delays with processing all around. You are very fortunate to have your NOA2, and I’m a little bit jealous Wink You should definitely look on there to find out the exact timeframes for filing paperwork, because your Fiance getting a job depends on what paperwork is filed and when. And while I’ve heard you can file to work right away, if you do it with your AOS then you won’t have to pay twice for it. This site has the best information I’ve found anywhere though, seriously. Looking around, it may answer some questions for you and help ease your mind. Good luck!!

Post # 36
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@swedeypie:  Yes. I’d do a courthouse wedding AS SOON as you can when he gets here, like, day after soon, and have everything ready to apply before. start looking into the paperwork and stuff

.and you guys will figure it out ๐Ÿ™‚


isn’t he bringing some money?

Post # 37
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

In a first tought: why don’t you move to sweden?!

If he is making so much money, and you’re not, why don’t you go there? Sweden is a pretty good country to live in.

Anyway, sorry you are feeling down about all this but personally I think you are doing do right thing, settle down, have a job (a steady one) and theeen get married. I hate that your parents aren’t giving you the support you deserve. Sorry for you**

Anyway, you are in the right place to share your feelings. Go ahead ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 38
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I was in your position, I’d move to Sweden.

It is not hard to live in a foreign country without speaking the language. I have lived and traveled all over Asia without problems. And Sweden is probably one of the best places to go, since everyone there speaks English! They start learning English in elementary school over there.

I started my graduate degree after being out of school for 10 years, so yes, I do believe that it is possible to re-start school.

There are a lot of distance education programs available. My graduate program is one of them! Though most people in the program are from Florida, there are also students from North Carolina, Virginia, Washington, London, France, and Japan! Of course, it’s more expensive if you are out-of-state, but a $50K yearly salary (as you say your fiance made) would be more than enough to cover it.



Post # 39
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We went through the K1 process. We got approved on February 13th, and he has until August 11th to leave. We’re going early because that’s what works for us… but can your Fiance stay longer, save more money, etc? That would give you more times to work things out.

Post # 41
1099 posts
Bumble bee

@swedeypie:  You may know this already, but many universities in Sweden have English programmes or classes. SO and I were considering going there for grad school, and I know two non-Swedish speaking people who study there. My friend just did an undergrad exchange to Lund and doesn’t speak a word of Swedish. 


I understand that a lot of money has been spent on a visa… but those are “sunk costs” as they say in economics; he won’t get that money back whether he continues the process or not. If you were to get married in Sweden and move there, he could apply for a green card eventually, which is WAY less hassel than a visa (that’s part of the reason my SO and I are getting married before moving to the US). 


This sounds like a lot to handle… Good luck!


EDIT: just read your post above, congrats! It sounds like it will work out ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 42
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I know you’ve invested a lot of money into his visas, but dont you think it would be worth it in the long run if you just went there and was actually able to live comfortably and just let that money go down the drain, rather than bust your ass to get him here and have nothing? Im in almost the same situation. Apparently Scotland’s economy isnt doing so well and Fiance cant find anything in Glasgow, so we flipped our plans of me going there to him coming here instead. Yeah all our plans are now out the window but as long as you have eachother it shouldnt matter where you live.


Also doesnt sound like you would be leaving much behind.

Post # 43
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@swedeypie:  The stamp says 2/13, but they called us to tell us on Valentine’s Day. We had the same romance theory :oP It was def cause to pop the bottle of champagne we’d been saving! Glad everything is working out better for you guys… :o)

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