No more babies

posted 1 year ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

I can’t weigh in in a “I’m in the same situation as you” sense, but the analogy that came to mind was marriage. You give up on certain experiences… meeting new people, first dates, first kiss, the initial excitement of uncertainty…. but you commit to a new life experience; one that is right for you. I’m sure you thought long and hard about tying your tubes, plus you have 3 wonderful children, so it sounds like this is the right life commitment for you! Cherish the family you have, because it sounds like this is your Goldilocks zone. 

Post # 3
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I just wanted to say that I can relate. I had my tubes tied during a c section 4 months ago. I have a 4 month old girl and an almost 3 year old boy. It was 100% my decision and I had thought about it for months. I may have wanted a third child, had I not had 2 miscarriages, a placental abruption with my son, and been on modified bed rest for 6 weeks with my daughter. I want to be alive and well for my kids so that was part of my decision, but my husband and I are also so happy with 2 kids. I do, however, get sad when I think about never going through the tiny newborn stage again, getting a BFP, etc. I think it’s normal and time will heal. I really can’t think of anything else to help those feelings along but time. Hugs to you!

Post # 4
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

motherbee33 :  I am feeling the same way right now! I have a 9m old and 2.5 yo. My husband says he’s done at 2. Thinking of not growing our family anymore makes me sad. Not sure if it’s because I don’t like goodbyes (goodbye to the season of newborns) or because I truly want a third. I think focusing on how great it will be to watch your kids grow and play and finally have more freedom for adult activities might help.

Post # 5
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

But think of all the amazing things you get to experience with older kids! First day of school. First goal or homerun, or dance recital. First date. 

There’s always amazing moments, and as your kids get older you’ll get the joy of actually seeing them become the little individual people you’ve hjelped mold them into. You’ll see them form their own opinions, and create their own little lives with friends, and a partner…

I think it’s so easy to look back, but then you’ll miss all the great stuff in front of you.

Post # 6
Member
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I feel like this. We have 3 kids, my youngest is 17 months. My husband and I were both in agreement about it when he got his vasectomy, but I’m still a little sad. I know I don’t really want any more kids- but i still get nostalgic sometimes. But I’m 41 and husband got a vasectomy- so that ship has way passed. 

Post # 7
Member
6445 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Life with children is full of lasts as well as firsts. There’s always the last pregnancy, the last nap, the last diaper, the last elementary concert, the last project that is made with a handprint. It goes on and on. I remember the last time my son took a nap while lying on the sofa with me. Yes, some lasts are touching and emotional, but they open new doors for you, too. The vacations we can plan with older children are fantastic! It is normal to feel a pang of loss, but embrace your future! 

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