No more 'diets'

posted 3 months ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Thank you so much for this post and congratulations!

I struggle with an unhealthy relationship with food and have been yoyoing between weight loss and weight gain for the better part of ten years. I recently started following a couple of intuitive eating accounts on Instagram and really recognized the pattern I’ve been going through. I’m trying to get out of the restriction and binging pattern and am finding it difficult so it’s nice hearing a story like yours which gives me hope that I will also someday feel neutral around food.

Did you receive any outside help (book or blogs or anything)? Where did you find recipes (I struggle with a picky eater for a husband so dinner is typically a difficult meal for me)? 

Post # 3
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall

I can really relate to your post. 

“Saying no to something and spending the next few minutes pleased with myself”.

”Aiming for 500 calories a day and weighing oneself repeatedly”

These resonate with me. This is how I lost 10 lbs this summer and guess what, I was miserable too and had such an unhealthy relationship with food (and myself).

I still struggle but I know that the next 10 lbs I lose will be with a completely different approach. 

Self love and wanting to be healthy more than wanting to be slimmer. 

No more “rewards” for being good, no more guilty feelings for a small indulgence. I look at my health as a whole now. 

I too believe I am achieving an 80/20 balance. 

Heart disease is incredibly prevalent in my family. I have struggled with high cholesterol since the age of 16! This is now my main motivator, taking care of my heart health and aiming for a long healthy life. 

You are an inspiration and thank you for posting this. 

worriedbeehere11 :  

Post # 5
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

worriedbeehere11 :  the panicking stage is where I’m at right now so I keep falling back into restriction which has now led to a weeks long binge mode and some weight gain. I’ve actually cried at restaurants during my restriction periods because I couldn’t find information about calories and I’ve also cried thinking that I will have to eat “like this” for the rest of my life.

Thank you so much for the link. I will give it a watch and hopefully will find it helpful. In the back of my brain I’m already thinking about how many calories I will eat and all the exercise I will do after the holidays. The sensible part of me says not too but that little part of me says it needs to be done so hopefully I’ll be able to break the cycle and find some moderation.

Post # 6
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’d recommend picking up a book about intuitive eating. My parents put me on my first diet when I was SIX because they thought I looked chubby compared to the other girls in my Baby Ballet class, and they wanted me to get a solo. I was weighing daily, counting calories, and going to Weight Watchers by the time I was 10. I was the only kid at summer camp with pedometer. (Despite all this, I have registered as “overweight” on the BMI scale every day of my life since I quit purging in high school!) … so yeah, my relationship with food was pretty fucked up until I was in my 20s. IE and Health At Every Size changed my life. I’ll never restrict again, and I may not look like some instagram model, but I am healthy and happy and celebrate all the possibilities my body brings into my life. Yes, INCLUDING eating delicious things!

https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Revolutionary-Program-Works/dp/1250004047/r

^ Check out this book. It’s really, really helpful.

Hugs to you, bee, and stay strong. We are about to go into New Year’s Resolution territory, when social media explodes with diet ads, “THIS IS MY BEFORE!” selfies, and self-loathing editorials. You can make it.

Post # 7
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

worriedbeehere11 :  

Outstanding work, Bee!  Congratulations!

A lot of weight issues were resolved for me, I believe with finality, through ketamine infusion, accompanied by a therapist who understands the process. Much gratitude goes to our own dear Pantsapocalypse for giving me the inspiration to try ketamine.

I will take my cues from OA and avoid references to numbers, eg, weight, calories, carbs, size, BMI, etc. Those things can be triggering for some.

I used to be very heavy. It certainly contributed to a long series of crappy relationships. But, there were always men. Late in life, I decided to grab control over it and lost a a lot of weight. I was downright scrawny. 

In retrospect, it makes sense. I was in a safe place in life, married to a low drama guy who never once made a comment about my weight.

I had already moved toward eating healthily.  I just cut back.  But, all was not well. I had designated “cheat days” which were always disastrous. I was able to limit it to one day, but it was binging.  Awful binging.  Looking back, I have no idea how I was even able to eat that much.

At my thinnest, I decided I had to join Jenny Craig.

A few years later, I have gained a little back, nothing catastrophic.

One of the amazing things that came out of ketamine therapy was that it hit me that I had been heavy for a reason.  A perfectly good, logical reason. I kind of already half knew this, but I had never truly felt and understood it before.

Ever since childhood, men have put me into situations I was in no way equipped to handle. The extra weight was protection against that, not a sign of a weak character, laziness, or lack of willpower. That weight served an entirely legitimate purpose for me, because I didn’t know any other way.

Of course, none of that was conscious.  Which is yet one more reason not to have regrets and not beat myself up over weight issues.

Another side benefit of the ketamine therapy has been a very sharp drop in my compulsivity. That’s a BFD for me. 

So, I am no longer on a permanent diet.  I weigh myself when I feel like it, right now, I like the numbers and I like how my clothes fit.

And, I am especially blessed.  After all those years of being so overweight, I escaped health problems.  By this age, they would be showing.

I truly believe that permanent weight loss requires some digging to figure out what purpose extra weight may be serving for you. And discover how to make sure you don’t need it anymore.

Post # 8
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee

You might consider trying my rule/regimen:

I can eat whatever I want as long as it’s 1) really delicious and/or 2)healthy. But emphasis on really delicious. No mediocre burgers. No mediocre cookies. But my fav dessert from my fav restauraunt? Bring it on!

It turned out for me that just becoming really snobby(lol) about the unhealthy food I ate helped. I no longer felt “restricted”. 

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