(Closed) No more kissing cousins – Bad RSVP etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I:
    Hold my ground. Wedding etiquette was broken here -- be sad if she can't make it and enjoy the day. : (154 votes)
    99 %
    Make the exception -- hopefully no one will notice and you don't have to worry about family issues. : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Stand your ground, they will get over it

    Post # 4
    Member
    8738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    How old is your cousin’s child? Unless the child is a newborn, stand your ground.

    If you make an exception for her, everyone who you denied exceptions to will be wondering why their kids were less desirable than hers.

    If your cousin can’t make it if her daughter can’t come, then so be it. 

    You’ve explained several times about no kids, she needs to respect your wishes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Seriously, they need to suck it up. If you sent out save-the-dates in October, that gave people ample time to figure out child care.

    I don’t even understand why people would want to bring their children – have a fun night out without the children!

    I feel very strongly about a child-free wedding and if I were you, stand your ground. She may just show up with her child regardless, so plan for that too! Some people…

    Post # 6
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    First off, how rude of her! And secondly, stand your ground! Are your parents close with her? Can someone else call her and let her know that your cousin is not able to attend due to size constraints? Good Luck and remember, in the end it is your special day so enjoy it to the fullest!!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    You’re not in the wrong- this was someone you didn’t want to invite and a cousin’s not immediate family anyway. I’m also having a no-kids wedding (my five-year old nephew is not invited- it’s an evening wedding and NOT a kid-friendly venue), and I fully support your no exceptions policy!

    Post # 8
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would hold my ground so hard it would crumble in my fingers.  The answer is no!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1962 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

     I agree with all the PPs. Unless the child is a newborn stand your ground. If you were to allow an exception that would probably cause more problems than trying to stay firm with your cousin. 

    I’m sorry you have to deal with that! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would stand your ground! You don’t want others to think “oh well she let their kid come…” could get messy.

    Post # 11
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I agree with PP. She has had months to find a sitter. If she can’t find one, she doesn’t need to come. I am going to be upset if people ask to bring kids to our wedding.

    Post # 12
    Member
    12973 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Stand your ground.  It’s your shindig, you choose the guest list – it doesn’t matter if this is a superbowl party or the royal wedding – you pick who’s invited, not the guests. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4653 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    They have had MONTHS to find a babysitter. It is not fair for everyone who actually found and most likely paying for a babysitter for her to bring her child. You are having an adult event if she cant stick to the adult only event then she can stay at home.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Stand you ground. Preempt her drama, by saying “looks like you won’t be able to come without (kid). We will miss you.”

    Post # 15
    Member
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Unless the baby just popped out of the oven hold your ground!

    Post # 16
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m firmly in the “no kids” camp.  You could be nice and try to help her find a sitter.  That’s what I’m doing for one friend I’d dearly love to see and may bring his 8yo along for the trip.  If she was that rude about it, I’d just put her in touch with the sitter, not offer to pay for it.  🙂

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