(Closed) No More wedding Talk

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know how much waiting sucks (we’ve all been there) – but giving him the rings is about as subtle as a brick to the head. My 3 best friends are guys, and I can tell you – the more they feel pressured/backed in to a corner – the more they will resist.  Its not because he doesn’t want to make you happy, its not because he doesn’t love you, and most importantly – its not because he doesn’t want to marry you.  Its because most guys have grown up with the notion that proposing should be their thing to think about and plan – not the girls’ – and he also might want to surprise you!  Also, any feeling of pressure is uncomfortable. Think about if the roles were reversed and say he really wanted to have kids with you, and you had every intention of doing that but you weren’t quiiiiiite ready – and he started leaving baby clothes on your kitchen table or came home with a crib. 

As far as continuing to plan on your own – Dont!!  You only get to be engaged once, and it only lasts for so long!  You’ll be so bummed out once you ARE engaged if you have no planning left to do, or what if he has input in to the planning? (My Mr. actually completely shocked me with how much he wanted to contribute to the planning, and its been FUN!)   So keep yourself busy with other things, be patient, and you will be rewarded.  

When you’re having those rough impatient waiting moments (lord knows I had them), talk to your close friends, go out with other friends, vent to them, etc.  But let him do his thing – you will feel infinitely more excited and adored when he completley blows you away – far better than you’d feel if he was like “OK OK OK IM putting it on your finger! Are you HAPPY NOW??” 

 

=)

 (also, not having a job is a completely legitimate reason to hold off on getting married – I would not consider that an excuse at all. No matter how strictly you adhere to a budget, its a time consuming and expensive process – and having a job should definitely be the top priority)

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